TO THE MAN I MARRIED 8 YEARS AGO - Joy D. Yap

Here's to share an open love letter of a dear friend to her husband.  Somewhere along the avenue...

Here's to share an open love letter of a dear friend to her husband.  Somewhere along the avenue of their marriage was a detour that affected their relationship.  She is now trying to keep it on track and sends her letter to family and friends, hoping that someday this shall circulate and help troubled marriages find its way back HOME.  This letter has not reached her husband yet.  In time, may this letter land the inbox of her beloved.  Here goes:




Dear Jose,
Ten days from now we will celebrate our eight year civil wedding anniversary.  Do you still remember that fateful day of September 16?  It was the day we became one as we pledged our love for each other. It was not a grand wedding ceremony. It was simple and solemn which I always dreamed off.  You wore that blue polo I chose on our first shopping expedition as a couple. I was the happiest woman on the planet for I married my best friend.
Our eldest son came to our lives on that early morning. You were asleep while I was busy doing my crafts.  You were awakened by my giggles and nudge. The doctors and nurses were amazed by my smiles and excitement. I took the pain astride as contractions after contractions enveloped my body. All I can think was soon the baby will be out. On October 21, 2002 at   11:09 AM, Kyle Nicholas was born. The instant you found out, you ran to the nursery to see our most wondrous gift.  A feeling of overwhelming pride and happiness came upon you as our little prince was presented. Tears formed in your eyes as you lovingly looked at that angelic face.
On the first day of Kael’s homecoming, you were up and about arranging our room. According to you everything must be in order to welcome baby. We had our afternoon nap at your parents’ room. While I and baby were asleep, you were taking pictures of us.  Your joy was overflowing as I opened my eyes. And on that same day you held your son for the first time. You were afraid and unsure if you were carrying him right. I cheered and calmed your fears. It was a sight to behold. You were checking every part of his body. The love was evident as you caressed his face.
I vowed to myself that I will make you and our son happy. Your very first job was with Toyota Motors. It was a month before Kyle’s first birthday. We were happy that we have our own money to spend for our son’s birthday. It was that night that we carefully planned our future. I felt deep down you were afraid. We were your strength and inspiration. I would always praise and uplift your self-esteem each time you needed it.
So many things had happened after you moved to one company to another. You barely had time for us. Work took most of your time. I missed our afternoon walk, our tickle games, our cruise driving but most of all I missed my husband and my best friend. Nights were cold and gloomy when you are not around. I craved for your scent and the nightly ritual of butterfly kisses.
The usual laughter and squeals of delight that fills our room are now gone. Quarrels and arguments became our ritual. I would often beg you to make time. Bouts of tears and hurtful words would float around us. We would often go to sleep with unresolved issues. I found myself getting angry and sad. Each smile and laughter I pasted on my face is like a dagger to my soul.
I became aloof. I detested the smell of money and the gifts you shower on us. It’s as if you were buying our love. Money took the place of time and your love to us. I was angry at you.
I gave you another son after seven years. We called him, Khaleb Inigo. We made a good team. You were an awesome labor coach. That Lamaze delivery was memorable. You were there every step of the way. You witnessed a miracle of life. The sheer happiness on your face as Inigo was out was priceless. I told myself….thank you Lord. This child will bring us closer again.
It was hard caring for a baby and first grader all by myself. No decent nanny was around to help. You were barely there. Adjustment was tough. It was like being a first time mom again.  Our sons were demanding. I wanted you to help but work was your priority.
Suddenly, I felt you don’t want to be near me. You rejected my touch. I knew that something was going on. I turned a blind eye each time I see the indifference in you. I made excuses to myself that you will never hurt us. I believed that you learned from my mistakes.
I was wrong…You cheated on us. I contemplated taking my life but my kids keep me sane. They give me strength and courage to fight and never let anger and darkness take me. Out of my love for you and our kids, I found myself asking God to release me from my misery and to give me the grace to forgive.
Jose, I had forgiven you. I am hoping that you will forgive yourself and me from all the pains we inflicted to each other. I learned that love is a decision, in spite of and despite of. That is the meaning of true love. That is why I love you unconditionally. That is why I am here even I am hurting.  We forgot about US as we lost ourselves with our responsibilities’.
I am giving you the space and time for you to find yourself. That one day you will tell me that it is me you truly love. That our family is your happiness and you can never live without us by your side.
But if that self discovery will lead you to find that you do not love me…I will set you free. For your happiness mean so much to me. I live my life making you and our kids happy.
Forever in my heart you were that man for me. I just knew the first time I called your name on that cold November night.  My heart was saying….it is him. And indeed it was you my dear husband.
You own my heart, mind, body and soul. Wherever you go you will always have them. I love you so much, honey!
Happy 8th Year Wedding Anniversary!
Loving you,
Joy


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3 comments

  1. Ms. Joy,
    I am really inspired with the way you love your husband inspite of, despite of you still accepted him totally.You made me realize that as a wife,we really have that one great mission and that is to keep our family together.You are a true example of a loving wife and mother...you live your life to make your husband and children happy. I wish that in God's time your husband will find his way back to you and your two kids. God bless always!-joyce

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks for leaving this comment. I will forward this to my friend who is still right now in the process of winning back her husband's affection. she's gone through a lot and she needs this kind of inspiration to keep it going and fight. God bless!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I watched a video one time about a testimony in one of Bo Sanchez's feast, that husband and wife were bound for a reason, that God gives you the best partner you could ever have in marriage.

    I pray for you and your kids and may the love you have strengthen you

    ReplyDelete

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Mommy Practicality is a home and lifestyle blog that's about positive, informative, 
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