Sunday, September 16, 2012 8-9 year old Birthday Kids Parenting
Of My Son's Birthday, Realizations and Promises
It wasn't long ago when he was just a 9.2 lbs newborn last 2003. Seeing him walk, even bringing him to school for the first time are st...
It wasn't long ago when he was just a 9.2 lbs newborn last 2003. Seeing him walk, even bringing him to school for the first time are still fresh to me. I even remember how he stunned the audience during his first dance performance in preschool. Now, he is short of a foot my height and wears pants for the first time as his school uniform. Signs that he's no longer a "baby" are so evident that it pinches my heart a bit.
Last September 10, my eldest son celebrated his 9th birthday. I took a leave from the office to ensure my full attention on him on that special day. For his birthday I thought of doing the following:
Decorate the house- Since he was 4, he gets excited seeing our place dressed up for his birthday. I use buntings, crepe paper and birthday banners.
What really happened: The night before his big day, I spent an hour decorating the dining and living area. The morning he saw it, he SMILED, but he wasn't as WOWed by it anymore.
Prepare him a special breakfast - Seeing his plate-o'-food arranged neatly gives him appetite
What really happened: I cooked his special chicken hotdog and egg for breakfast, molded his 2 small cups of rice, and arranged them to look like a boy's face. I used a character place mat and poured him water in a goblet (he likes the fancy/fine things).
What really happened: He declined this idea. He said he's already a big kid and there's no need to do it. He'd rather have something to give out to his classmates.
What really happened: He politely told me that we're having dinner anyway, so if it's ok to just treat his closest friends some snacks. So I gave him an allowance and he treated 5 of them.
Gift Choosing and Arcade Bonding - After school, I'd bring him to the mall to let him choose our birthday present and go to an arcade where we could have a little bonding.
What really happened: I'm happy that he still liked this idea. When he came home, he freshened up, changed clothes and asked me if we're ready to go. Off we went immediately! He chose Go-Go's II collectibles as his special gift.
What really happened: After our mall bonding, we took out dinner from his favorite KFC. We hurriedly went home to see the rest of the family for dinner. We sang his birthday song, he blew out his birthday candle, ate dinner and ice cream for dessert.
Realizations of a Hurt Mom:
Honestly, I got hurt when few of my plans were rejected by him. I even questioned, 'Is he now embarrassed to be seen with me in school?' But to feel that would be unfair of me. I read about child development for 8-9 year-olds and learned that it's normal. I felt better after reading these facts that at his age, he:
- Has increased ability to relate to the outside world at school and with friends.
- Has great desire to fit in and be accepted by their peer group.
- Has a clearly developed sense of self-worth.
- Communicates needs, wants and emotions in healthy ways.
- Values friends greatly and makes them an increasingly important part of life.
- Shows more independence from parents and family.
- May express an increased desire for privacy.
- Show affection and recognize his accomplishments.
- Help child develop a sense of responsibility.
- Talk regularly about school, friends, and things he looks forward to in the future.
- Make clear rules and stick to them and be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
- Do fun things together as a family.
- Get involved with his school like meeting his teachers or joining activities.
- Continue reading to your child.
Learning these things, seeing my son pretty normal and actually doing great at being responsible, obedient and independent, make me so proud of him and ourselves as parents. I just worry too much sometimes. With this, I would like to make some promises to myself and to him. I promise to become a better parent each day; To make myself aware of the changes that he will be going through as he reach puberty; To adjust to these changes and progress our healthy parenting as he grows older; And I promise to listen, encourage, stand by him, respect, trust and LOVE him come what may.
Happy Birthday to my dear son, Dandre! I love you very much!
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