Last weekend, I attended the "Yes Mommy: How to Talk so Your Children will Listen & Understand" Workshop at Ortigas Center. The Yes Mommy workshop was presented by Optimommy and Manila Workshops in cooperation with Unilab. I found out about the workshop through Martine of Dainty Mom and by registering to the workshop using her code, I was able to get a 50% discount.
Ever since I became a mom nine years ago, I took parenting seriously. I used to attend all the available parenting workshop there were to help me in modern parenting. I grew up with a strict and conservative parents during the time when spanking and scolding were okay. But don't get me wrong, I don't feel bad about it. It's just how parenting was during their time.
But I want to change that. I want my kids to grow up with positive and loving communication while teaching values and discipline less the spanking.
The Yes Mommy Workshop Learning
The workshop's speaker, Ms. Jayme Gatbonton, is a mom of 2 children and an advocate of positive parenting. She underwent a certification in Neuro Linguistic Programming, is a Mass Communication Teacher at FEU and is also a parenting blogger under Optimommy.com. She efficiently captured the audience by sharing her knowledge about intentional parenting. Below are the learning I picked up from the workshop:
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| Jayme Gatbonton of Optimommy.com as the workshop's trainer |
- Self Talk for Mommies - positive communication begins with you. As parents we are responsible for how we communicate with our children. If you want to communicate positively with your kids, we should start our day with calmness and good intentions. How? Think GRATITUDE; Pray for PATIENCE; and Praise Yourself. If patience run low, pause and shift to a positive mindset. Straighten your back and breathe. Speak softly and slowly. Build a sanctuary or walk away.
- How to understand your child’s personality - For me, this is the most interesting topic because I found out that our children have different modalities. Just by evaluating where their eyes go when talking with them, you may assess if they are Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic or a combination of those. By understanding their personalities, we could better communicate with them and make them listen to us and say, "YES Mommy!" As soon as I got home, I talked to my eldest son and right away validated this learning! I found out that he is a Auditory-Kinesthetic person. With this learning, I now know how to adjust my communication style with him.
- How to adjust your communication style based on your child’s personality - If your child is Visual, talk visual to him by using "see" or "look" in your conversation. Visual kids like seeing beautiful things and usually grow up usually as "maporma." They like learning by seeing and reading. With auditory, using "listen" or "hear" in your conversation will work better. They like learning by reading or listening. While Kinesthetic children likes hearing feeling words during your communication with them. They like learning through touching and doing. I volunteered to try adjusting my communication style based on these different personalities. I realized it's really hard but practicing it will get you to a positive and more effective communication with your children.
- The Three Elements of Positive Communication - It may sound easy but actually it's hard to eliminate or avoid using DON'T or NO in speaking with our children. But as the workshop suggests, as parents we should rephrase it. We should be CLEAR, CONGRUENT and PROACTIVE in communicating with them. Whatever we say should be explained in a manner they would understand. What we say should also reflect in the manner we say it and in the things we do. If we tell them to do something else otherwise, we should offer something for them to do instead.
- How to say "no" by saying "yes" - Instead of saying NO, we should replace it with YES + AND + BECAUSE. As a parent I am guilty of saying "NO you can't" without following it with a reason. When saying NO to a request to but something at the store, we can replace it with "YES, I understand you want that cake AND right now it's not available BECAUSE the store is already closed. How about, you have some cookies then first thing in the morning, we could get that cake!"
Yes Mommy Workshop Experience
I am very glad to be able to attend the workshop because committing to parenting skills improvement is something that I am serious about. I admit that I am not a perfect parent, who is? But workshops like this help moms and even dads in this career we didn't prepare for. We got a loot bag of freebies from the sponsors, I was able to meet a network of like-minded parents and shared laughter with other participants during games and exercises. Our team bagged the first place by the way which got us an extra Unilab loot bag!
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| Unilab Loot bag |
The workshop ended with this beautiful quote from Jill Churchill:
"There is no way to be a perfect mother
And a million ways to be a GOOD one."
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4 comments
Ang ganda ng quote. Super correct talaga. =)
ReplyDeleteWow, this is so helpful. I wish there were workshops like this in Davao. :-)
ReplyDeleteThat's so true! :)
ReplyDeleteI will tell your suggestion to Manila Workshops! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog and leaving your wonderful comment!