Sunday, January 26, 2014 Mommy Time
Oh Yes! Our Yaya Gave Birth!
It's been more than a month since my previous yaya to my toddler gave birth. I wrote about my shocking reaction to her very complicate...
It's been more than a month since my previous yaya to my toddler gave birth. I wrote about my shocking reaction to her very complicated pregnancy and life situation in two parts last November and December. You may read the stories over HERE and HERE. So, yes! Our (ex) yaya gave birth last December 10 to a healthy baby girl.
That time, Macky and I were praying for God's guidance on (1) what to do with this dilemma of having a pregnant yaya who first of all, deceived us about her situation and who planned to have the baby adopted (2) on managing the situation smoothly considering that both of us work out of home and (3) on finding a replacement soon.
GOD heard our prayers.
Just when we already talked to my kumare who teaches childbirth lessons in Nazareth Home to help us in the admission of our yaya to the shelter on the weekend of December week 2, she gave birth four days earlier. My mom brought her to the hospital immediately when she complained about unbearable abdomen cramps at around 5:00 am. Of course as a mother of two, I already knew that it was her time. We were all expecting her to give birth on January 7, as stated in her first pre-natal check up. Apparently, her count wasn't correct.
Our concerns and the answers were:
- Hospital Bill - It could have been so much easier if we just admitted her to the Nazareth Home shelter because as what my friend said, the shelter will take care of all her expenses for childbirth and even her medications. But things happened not according to our plan. I had to take care of her hospital bill, the newborn screening plus food and transportation while she was confined.
- Other Medical Expenses - I made sure all her post-natal medicines were complete. I couldn't risk her having post-natal complications or what others call binat. After all, she was still living with us for a month after giving birth.
- Informing Her Family - Initially, she didn't want any of her family know that she was pregnant. But that cannot be. Her family had to know. Her mother most especially had to know. As a mother myself, I cannot bare to not know the important events in the lives of my children.
- Adoption and Registration of Baby's Name - To tell you frankly, which I've also said in my last two posts about this, she was strong in saying that she's giving up the baby for adoption. I was approached by a number of interested families after I wrote about this. I gave her that option, not that I fully support her decision. Another was admitting her to the shelter which will guide and assist her in processing adoption for her child. But since she gave birth in a hospital, it was required that she registers the baby under her name. As fate would have it, they got out of the hospital even when the registration of the baby's name wasn't processed at that time. Any adopting parent would see that as a perfect scenario, because they could seek a legal's assistance to register the baby's name following theirs. But that's not what God planned. There was one interested parent who was sincere in her plans to adopt the baby, but when the whole family discussed about it, the wind blew another direction.
- Baptism - I let yaya stay in our house for one month after giving birth, to ensure she and her baby are okay and healthy. But maybe because of kasabihan ng matatanda that travelling an unbaptized infant is not good, the baby had to be baptized before leaving our premises. My mom and I helped her in this case. This was also the compelling reason why she already had to register the baby's name in the Manila Registrar's Office through the hospital. We took care of the expenses as well.
- Being Yayaless and Finding a Replacement - One of the hardest situations I could think of for a working mom/dad is leaving your child/ren to a stranger (yaya). But worse than that is leaving them to no one. There were days that I had to take unpaid leaves, the same for Macky. I even had to bring my toddler to work, because I had no choice (but how I wish I could bring him everyday!). Finding a replacement was also tedious because we don't get from agencies, only through referrals. It took us a month to find a replacement. We're blessed to have found a kind-hearted yaya, hopefully, she stays long with us.
|I had no choice one time, but to bring my son to work. Here he was taking his afternoon nap.|
The whole situation was not perfect for anymore, but it was perfect for HIM. It's because, it reminded me that God's plan is greater than ours. I was also reminded that when we're faced with any challenges, we have to stop worrying. We just need to trust HIM. We may not like nor understand why things were not happening according to our plan, it's because, HIS plans are better. It is what's good for all.
Turning over our yaya to the shelter may mean no expenses for me, almost sure adoption of the baby which was what yaya wanted. But God didn't want that to happen. I spent for everything, because HE wants to teach me to be selfless. I've been blessed by HIM and so should I be a blessing to a needy. If she had went to the shelter, the baby will be separated from her biological mother. Also if the interested adopting parent pursued the adoption, even knowing her family changed their minds about it, the baby may just cause disagreements or worse indifference among them, who knows.
I already sent her home two weeks ago after making sure she and the baby are both in healthy conditions. Of course, I still gave her transportation allowance and a little pocket money to go home to Samar, Leyte. More than being a blessing to her, the whole situation has blessed me and Macky.
Being yayaless of course brought me closer to my children because I had to do the things she used to do for them myself. We were also reminded of life's greatest lessons like being more selfless and giving to others without conditions. It was also enforced to me, that between career and family, the latter will always come first, no matter what. Our faith in God became stronger and we relearned to trust God with HIS plans and also to worry less. We also appreciated each other more and became a more patient too.
We just pray that yaya will also learn from this life experience of hers. We still took her and her baby in, even if she didn't work for us anymore. I would like to think that Macky and I became angels to her in a way. Wherever she may be right now, I am certain, that she would have regretted her decision to give up that beautiful baby girl she's holding in her arms, had the adoption pursued. Ang galing talaga ni LORD! All in HIS most perfect and greatest timing and plan!