Dear Mommy Practicality #2, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Before I start with our letter for this week, let me greet everyone once again a belated Happy Valentine's Day! How was your heart'...
Before I start with our letter for this week, let me greet everyone once again a belated Happy Valentine's Day! How was your heart's day loves? Mine was simply celebrated by preparing a special breakfast then having dinner with the family at a restaurant. My hubby surprised me with a bouquet of flowers and my kids with their lovely greeting cards. Earlier, hubby and I used the free Lunch Buffet GC in Circles Makati Shangri-La, which I won from one of the events I attended last year. Wala masyadong gastos loves. Practical diba?
Anyway, our letter this week comes from a single mother who still loves her ex-boyfriend but is not sure if he feels the same way. Let's see what her love problem is.
|Photo from Pearly85|Flkr Creative Commons|
I am 26 years old from Novaliches Q.C. 10 years ago I had this relationship with this guy. We're been together for 4 years and a half. We had a great relationship like others. I trusted him a lot and love him with all my life. Maybe because he is my first boyfriend. I thought he will be my first and last man in my life. He never cheated on me.
Suddenly, after 4 years and half of relationship,he had an affair with another girl. Inamin niya sa akin tungkol about dun, pero since feeling ko niloko niya ako, nagalit ako at nakipag hiwalay ako. Nag explain sya sa akin but at that moment naging sarado ang isip ako. Kahit mahal na mahal ko sya.
Couple of months after we broke up, he called me and gustong makipag ayos. Pero dahil sa pride and takot maulit uli ung nangyari hndi ko binigyan ng second chance kahit mahal na mahal ko sya. Nagkaron na din kasi ako ng ibang karelasyon kasi akala ko dun mawawala ung sakit na nararamdaman ko.
Years passed, nagkaron kami ng kanya kanyang pamilya. Naging single dad sya at ganun din ako, single mother. Pero until now, mahal ko pa din sya. We have communication through FB but we never saw each other again. Gusto ko sana syang makita at maka usap pero natatakot ako baka hindi ko kayanin ung nararamdaman ko, ipilit kong maging kami ulit. Until now sya pa din ung gusto kong makasama forever. Pero hindi ko alam kung ganun din ba sya or galit ba sya sa akin. Sana matulungan mo ako sa love problem ko. More power to you blog.Sincerely,
Dear Yum 25,
Thank you for sharing your story. I can clearly sense that you still love him deeply and how you wish to still make him part of your world. It looks like you have not learned to let go and completely moved on from the time that you broke up with him years ago.
First, let me commend you for being a strong woman for not tolerating cheating in your past relationship with him and second, for being a single mother. I know how hard it is to be a single mother, because I used to be one too.
Now, on to your heart dilemma. Girl, I can feel the pain in your heart, having so much love for another person whom you are not sure if he feels the same way for you. If both of you are still single, I don't think there is anything wrong with still communicating with him. You said you are friends and still talk on Facebook, that's a good start. If you are not sure about what he feels towards you, that must be because of several reasons. One, he's not giving you hints that he still cares for you because he doesn't anymore. Two, he could be afraid of being rejected by you again. Third, he could have other priorities in life which you do not know of.
If it will give you some peace of mind to see him in person and catch up on things or tell him what you feel for him, then go and initiate meeting him in person over coffee. When you see him, talk casually and don't jump into talking about your past and your feelings. Gauge how your conversation goes, be attentive to his gestures and examine his responses. More or less, you will get an idea if he's still into you or not. If not, then definitely it's time to move on and just be good friends with each other. But if you can't stay friends with him because it hurts, then stop communicating first until you know for yourself that you've completely let go, forgiven yourself and ready to face him without any pinch in your heart.
Who knows, maybe all you both need is more time. I believe in fate and yes, destiny. If you are meant for each other, then the moon and stars will help both of you cross paths again without forcing things to happen.
I say no by the way to "baka hindi ko kayanin ung nararamdaman ko, ipilit kong maging kami ulit." That's quite irresponsible, immature and one-way. Apply self-control in this situation, it will save you in more ways than one. Isn't it more beautiful if both of you are on the same page and still mutually love each other? All relationships should be a two-way street, a duet, a dialogue or a tango. It takes two to make it or break it.
You're only 26, still young. You still have a lot ahead of you. If ever you realize that he doesn't feel the same for you, believe me, it's not the end of the world. Don't be depressed too, you have a beautiful child. He/She is God's greatest blessing to any mother. Focus on building a good career so you could support your child independently. Being a single mother is tough. You have to act both as a mom and a dad. Your child looks up to you as his hero, his everything. Having a happy environment which you have a lot of contribution into building for him, will help in raising a happy and well-mannered child. Lastly, pray for everything. God will never ever fail you. He will always give you what He thinks is best for you and your child. God bless you Yum!
Very Truly Yours,
~ How about you loves, have you got anything to say to Yum 25? I'm sure she would love to read your pieces of advice for her on the comments form below. Thanks!~