Dear Mommy Practicality (Family Financials)
Our first letter sender for our #DearMommyPracticality Season 2 (very TV-series-like) comes from a ...
Our first letter sender for our #DearMommyPracticality Season 2 (very TV-series-like) comes from a very hardworking wife who is having some concerns about their current family financial set-up.
Let's now read about her dilemma:
Hi.Good Day! Hello sis you (may) call me Bluemorpho nalang.
Actually sis i don't know kung big problem ba talaga 'to or ginagawa ko lang big deal for me. I have two kids (2 boys) the one is turning to 6 yrs old and the other is turning into 1 yr old. We know already na mahirap ang buhay ngayon. The problem is nagresign po kasi husband ko sa work so ako nalang po nagwowork.and he decided na sya nalang mag-alaga sa two kids po namin. Alam po natin na madaming expenses right now tulad ng tuition fees etc.
Sa tingin mo ba sis big deal yung problem ko?
Thank you sis.
First of all, thank you for entrusting my with your family concerns. To answer your letter if indeed it's a big deal, YES it is a BIG deal. Anything that concerns your family, anything that bothers you as a life partner as a wife and anything that will affect your family's (especially the kids') future is a big deal. But with the grace of God, nothing is impossible to solve or get over with.
I see two issues here: 1) Family's Financial State 2) Communication.
I agree with you Bluemorpho when you said that "mahirap ang buhay ngayon." I remember when my siblings and I were growing up, only my dad was working and my mom was a full-time housewife. Back then, we were doing okay. Having just one of them work for the family was okay. When the mid-90's came, (my two elder brothers already graduated by this time) my parents put up a small business and worked hard to keep the two of us undergrads (me and the youngest sibling) in school. I witnessed and experienced the transitioning from a comfortable life to a just-enough life. My dad retired early and my mom worked double-time to keep the small merchandising and school supplies store going. We went through a tough time that during my senior year in college, I almost stopped schooling for one semester. Good thing, my working brothers helped with my school expenses. So I understand your worries, I understand where you are also coming from.
In relation to your concern, there's really nothing wrong if one of you stays at home and the other one works full time as long as both of you talked about this and agreed with this kind of set up. In fact, in the future, that's how I envision our set-up would be. Hubby works and I stay at home or work at home and take care of the children and the household too. But for now, both of us are working full-time because that's the set-up that works for our family. They say, "To each his own." If you think that that kind of set up works well for your family, then that's great.
But if you are bothered about it or if you think it was a one-sided decision, then it's better to sit down with your husband and talk about it. Lay down all your concerns lovingly. List down all the expenses you are worried about like household bills, tuition fees, food expenses, transportation and communication expenses. Never put the blame or talk in an attacking or angry voice. Never put your man down. Express your concerns using feeling words like
"Hi honey/darling/sweetheart/mahal/babe/baby, I feel sad/worried/bothered/afraid about your resignation because __________________________ (your reasons/concerns here)."
Remember a dialogue is a conversation between two people with an objective to iron issues (should there be any) and come out of it with an agreement, peacefully. So after you've laid down your concerns and feelings about your situation, don't leave his feelings and his career concerns out. Maybe there's something wrong at work, maybe he's having a difficult situation or he's going through some challenges with his co-workers. You'll really never know until you ask. Sometimes our men don't talk first unless we ask them.
So there, I do hope that I was able to help you answer some questions in your mind. I pray that you'll be able to sort this out with your husband. Always remember in marriage and in family affairs, you and your husband are ONE. Also, never forget to pray always to God for anything and everything! God bless!
Very truly yours,