Dear Mommy Practicality - Need To Get My 2yo Son Back!
Hello loves! How's your mid-week so far? Mine was a busy start, but I'm on leave from work earlier because my son has fever. Help...
Hello loves! How's your mid-week so far? Mine was a busy start, but I'm on leave from work earlier because my son has fever. Help me please pray for his speedy recovery. Thank you.
Anyway, our #DearMommyPracticality letter sender for the week is from a mom who is (still as of this writing) separated from her 2yo son and wants to get him back. Let's read her letter now:
Dear Mommy Practicality,
I have a big problem. My family went to my hometown a month ago. We went there because we wanted to see my father who just arrived from another country. Actually, he's already retired, so he will stay here for good. So, we enjoyed our short stay there. The problem is that, my parents asked me to leave my son there for less than a month for them to spend some time with my son. Because they said, they missed him a lot. At first, I didn't agree. But my mother told me, "Ibabalik din naman in less than a month e. Pagbigyan mo naman si papa mo kasi matagal na niyang di nakasama yung apo niya." Well, after that, I agreed. I left my two-year-old son to my parents. We went back to Manila thinking they would give him back. But now, it's been more than a month. I always tell them in a nice way to bring my son back here in Manila. But they don't want to. I don't want to sound so rude to my parents but I terribly miss my son. By the way, my hometown is 8 hours away from here.
Please give me an advice soon, I really don't know what to do. Thank you.
I know how devastating you're feeling right now because I was once in that situation before (ex-in-laws.)
First of all, you are the child's mother, you and your hubby are the parents. The child's best interest should be the priority and that being said, the child should be with you and your husband at all times especially that he is still very young and has needs that only his parents could address.
Second, for me, an agreement should be respected. If your parents said they will bring back the child to you after 2 weeks, then you should really expect that to hold true right? Since it's been more than 2 weeks already, I am not sure what your parents' reasons are, but they should respect also the fact that you are the child's mother. I know from your story that he just came back, but that is not enough reason for him to separate the child from you beyond what was agreed.
Third, your child is not a thing, but a little human being that shouldn't, as much as possible, be passed on from one unit to another, unless there's a court ruling. My advice is, for your peace of mind, go the distance of 8 hours travel to get your child.
Let your parents understand that your child needs you and tell them how much you miss him. That if they want to see their apo, they could visit Manila anytime or you'll just set a schedule when you and hubby will go visit them in the province. You have to be strong with this and your parents should see that you're serious about this. THIS is not a sign of disrespect to your parents. You are just after the welfare of the child and exercising your rights as the child's parents.
There's a possibility that the child may cry because he will feel like you took him away from his grandparents, but it will be just for a while. Fill him with lots of living touches and do something he enjoys.
Your parents may feel bad about to you, taking their apo away from them, you may even hear words that may hurt you. Just take it all in, they may just be saying that because they're going to miss their apo.
I'm sure they want also what's best for the child, tell them that you know that, but fact still remains you're the parents of the child and your family should be intact at all times.
Remember please, while taking your child from them, not to let him witness your confrontation with your parents, it will be traumatic for him. Get as soon as you can.