Thursday, July 09, 2015 Kids Mommy Time Motherhood Parenting Reflections
Thoughts on Motherhood, Parenting, Pausing and Mom Wars
Wrote about my thoughts on motherhood, parenting, pausing and mom wars while sipping coffee. Sometimes I wonder, am I doing it correctly...
|Wrote about my thoughts on motherhood, parenting, pausing and mom wars while sipping coffee.|
Ahh... parenting or motherhood, is such a hard task which was assigned to us from the moment of the inception of our children in our wombs, whether ready or not. If the blessing is given to you, you have to fulfill the mother role to your offspring immediately.
When I was a first time mom to my elder child, I didn’t have any idea on caring for another human being and bringing him up to be the fine young man I’ve envisioned him to be. But so as when I became a mom the second time around to my little one, the experience was totally different. The digital landscape was so vast too, that bringing up the second one was a lot easier, so I thought. The two boys are alike and different in more ways than one.
I’m not saying that I am breezing through parenting like a real pro or an expert. I certainly am not an expert even if I’ve had two already. I do have struggles in keeping myself sane and composed when it comes to disciplining them. I also lose control at times. I sometimes lose it and feel frustrated too. There were times when I beat myself to guilt when I feel that I’m failing.
I’m just like you. I feel exactly just how you do. I get tired everyday. I feel bad when expectations are not met. I feel horrible when my kids make the same mistakes over and over again even if I’ve eternally reminded them (especially the older one). I also wish to take a break (a long one) to leave them to whoever is available to look after them.
I know how you feel, I feel that too.
Want to know what I do to combat these crazy thoughts or to dismiss these insane feelings? I don’t leave, I don’t shout, I don’t lose it in front of them nor in front of hubby. I PAUSE.
I pause to think and decide well. I pause to examine myself if the words which came out of my mouth were helpful, healthy and constructive OR discouraging, harmful, hurtful and destructive. I pause to give them a break too. I pause to give myself and my sons, quiet and reflective time to assess everything.
Pausing helps to prevent saying things we don’t really mean and yet we’ve pierced the hearts of our children with hurtful things we already said.
Pausing helps in making both parties, the parent and the child/ren, realize the mistakes done and by doing so, make things happen to correct them.
Most importantly, I pause to PRAY. I pray that I may fulfill my duty as my children’s mother. I pray that I will have more patience. I pray that I will be able to keep up with my children’s activities as they grow older. I pray that I'd be consistent in the parenting and disciplining styles I use on them. I pray that I will always be conscious in setting a good example so I may teach them more effectively. I pray for a bigger and more forgiving heart, so that I may truly give them my unconditional love no matter what may they may turn out to be.
So being a mother is one hell of a tough job. Being a mother, whether you breastfeed or not, stay at/work from home or not, is a role which drains you physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, and we don’t need another mother pinning us down just because we are not the type of mother that they are. That’s the last thing we would ever need.
Why not, let’s just support each other and pray for each other: That we’ll be able to rear our children to the best of our abilities and capabilities; That we’ll be able to bring up good children; That we’ll have enough strength each day to do our chores at home or at work and at the same time keep an eye on our children; That we and our children stay healthy and safe all the time; and lastly, that we’ll not go crazy while going through good or tough parenting times.
~How are you today mommy? Are you okay? Are you tired? Are you joyous of your child’s milestone or good deed? Share how you feel today and let’s talk about being a mother!~