We Thought Our Relationship's Okay But It's Not
Why? Why haven’t I been writing for quite a while and if I would, the posts would be about an event or a product discovery or a sponsored one. When I read my own blog the other day, I asked those questions myself. As I examined and critiqued my own digital home, I wasn’t happy about it too. I lost connection to my inner core; the heart of my blog was missing.
So what’s the reason? We were too busy about the wedding preparations that we have been forgetting to prepare OURSELVES for the true marriage. Just like any couple, it's normal for us to go through quarrels, disagreements, arguments, and whatever there is that's not synonymous to a smooth sailing relationship. We were so caught up with the stresses that we forgot to take care our our hearts and our relationship. There were pains which we caused each other along the process.
I personally coped with the help of friends, with a few diversions, with a lot of escaping and just focused on work, and he by turning to his mobile phone (COC actually) and going out with friends occasionally. It temporarily eased the burden, but I still went back to the pain, to the hating, to speaking hurtful words, and to sobbing. I thought solving the problem ourselves would do the trick. But it didn’t.
Until, we attended a couple’s retreat last weekend.
We confirmed to this retreat as early as a month ago. I was invited by my kumares who also attended the a few months back and came out as better and more loving couples. We almost didn’t go last Saturday morning because again of a petty argument. But by some fate, we woke up from the alarm set on both our phones, and prepared. We drove ourselves unwillingly to the venue for an overnight retreat.
We didn't expect anything from the retreat and thought it would just bore us because we didn't prepare for it nor see the need for our relationship. But as we went there to hear the speakers talk about their experiences and how God spoke to them and made them realize a lot of other things about themselves, their relationship with their spouses and their relationship with the Lord, we started to listen. It’s easier for a woman to welcome the words and learn from it, but for men, I didn’t expect them to be as involved as much, especially Macky.
But as what we learned from the retreat, NOTHING HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT. We weren’t there by accident. It was God’s will that even if we fought the night before the retreat, we still woke up for it, there wasn’t any traffic, and we still decided to just attend. We learned from the retreat that God already knew what to do with each and everyone of us, that He makes things happen for a reason. God allows failure, pain, heartbreak or depression to happen, to teach us lessons. He lets things happen to get our attention and focus on him and rebuilding our love for Him. He lets hopeless situations happen so we may start depending ONLY ON HIM and not to try to solve things ourselves.
To cut the long story short, we came out of the wedding as different and better persons. We experienced a miracle and a blessing. We came out:
- With sincere forgiveness from both our hearts, because we're all sinners and because God forgave us from our sins, how could we not?
- With a realization of how imperfect we both are as a spouse.
- With a realization that we both sin from each other and of course causing us to stray away from God.
- With a checkpoint on our relationship's health and how unconsciously we hurt each other
- With a renewed heart about praising God
- With a desire to develop a more personal relationship with God, because without Him in our lives, we’re like headless chicken
- With conviction to leave the best legacy to our children, which is to raise them with God in their mind and hearts
- Last but not the least, with a decision that we’ll resume with our (now rush) wedding preps because we realized that God put us together, and not with anyone else, because He has a purpose for both of us together as a couple.
Please loves, pray for us as we go through the challenges of facing our daily grind with strong temptations to go back to old ways and entertain the pain and bitterness again from our past issues. Whoever you are and whatever situation you also may you be in, I pray that you'll be blessed by this post and know that there's always hope in God and everything happens for a reason.
Please pray for us that we will also successfully stage our wedding even if we’ll be cramming the preparations for it already. Thank you!
Speaking of which, I still don’t have a dress.