When The Universe Aligns, What Would You Do?
I've been thinking a lot lately about the state of my mom life right now and where should I really be and what does God want me to do or...
I've been thinking a lot lately about the state of my mom life right now and where should I really be and what does God want me to do or where to go. I'm blessed with three sons who capture all childhood stages: teenager, preschooler, and an infant. Since I graduated from college, I have been working all my life (except for about two years when I got pregnant and gave birth to my first which made me experience being a stay-at-home-mommah.). I've dabbled in different sideline jobs while working full-time. In those times, I was able to earn extra while doing what I love doing and pursuing my passion. I sang in a band with my ex-boyfriend (now my husband), I appeared on several TV commercials, I started to blog, and I also had a retail business. Years passed by and I felt more stable, content and at peace with whatever I have (or had?).
When things seem to be going so well, suddenly life has a way to shake me up again and tilt me out of my comforts. Looking back at recent events, I think this shaking up started happening when I was bed resting and experienced working-from-home. It was a challenge for me, but manageable. Next, I had an emergency C-section when we were all preparing for a normal delivery of baby boy #3. Following that, our baby who was only two months then got hospitalized and at that tender age already experienced being inserted an IV into. When I got back to work, there were some changes which aren't exactly in sync to my long-term plans. Lastly, yaya problems.
But for every mishaps, there were equivalent blessings that come along. When I was bed resting my new team/s were gracious to allow me to work-from-home which isn't a standard practice in the office. Because of that, I was able to become more involved with household matters. Second, I was able to prove to others and myself that working-from-home indeed could work. Delivering and launching projects from home is possible! I had a taste of how working-from-home feels like. It was like a window to another life path which is still unexplored.
Second, when I had an emergency C-section, it simply meant, more maternity leave days for me. It just meant, extended time to be with my newborn and extra time for me to learn and do breastfeeding my baby. It also meant extra time for me to be present for my two older kids.
When our baby was hospitalized due to my spoiled breast milk, I became more conscious about breastfeeding and sensitivity breast milk storage hence, I was able to share this experience to other moms through my blog.
I was nervous when I was about to return to work. Because it was my first time to exclusively breastfeed, I didn't have any idea at all how to make breastfeeding work while working out of home. Fortunately, I was lead to meet angels and these angels helped and supported me a lot in my exclusive breastfeeding journey: from choice of breast pump, to recommended breastfeeding essentials, the how-tos, and to full-on moral support! This pumped me up and made me convicted to breastfeed baby exclusively as long as I can. Baby's turning four months already and is exclusively breastfed, thanks to the current support system I have. Imagine, I've saved almost Php 21K for being formula-milk-free (based on a can costing Php900 good for 5days).
Now speaking of work, there are decisions to be made and these decisions could be life-changing. I'm at that cross-road right now. Should I jump or should I hold back? While making a final choice is still impending, I keep on meeting angels who are entrepreneurs or working from home and who are inspiring and encouraging. It makes me think, if they can do what they do joyfully even if it means heavy work, sleepless nights, stress... then maybe I can too? The prize is being able to stay with the kids while earning a living doing what you love doing and being your own boss.
But there are times that I dismiss those thoughts because practically speaking, I cannot just leave work. I cannot afford to lose my security blanket (which has hospitalization benefits for my dependents, bonuses, and other perks) which put food on the table, pay bills, pay salaries, and send kids to school. Then the last straw blew: Yaya problem who has already said goodbye and gave us a termination date.
That's it, pansit! What now, brown cow?
Is the universe pushing me to jump off the cliff I'm afraid to jump into? Is the universe whispering to me to take that unexplored path? Is the universe telling me to make a choice soon because all these life situations, or dilemmas if you would call it that way, are happening?
When the universe aligns nga naman, you will be lead to riding that road in your life which is unsure because of unlit alleys. When they align, you will be lead to make a choice, which is not popular and could be scary, but it's what's right for you given the life you're presented into. When the universe aligns, those mishaps turn into opportunities, and it's up to you to take them or let them go.
Will I take it or let go? Will I explore the path I'm afraid to take or stay safe? Should I begin again before it's too late or just stay complacent with what I have right now even if the current is running against my life right now?
What would you do if the universe is aligning things for you? Will you realign your life or persevere with what you have right now even if it's already pushing away?