I'm again a new mom to my third baby boy.  Having three kids seem like I'm an expert when it comes to newborn care, that's what others say.  Honestly, after almost six years since I had my second child, everything seemed new to me or what they call "nanganay" or just like how it was when you had your very first child.

Hello! I'm back and will be writing sporadically I guess due to this new phase in my life, I'm a new mom again to a baby boy!  Meet the newest addition to the family, Damien Louie.

All smiles on our way to the hospital and already 4cm dilated.

Since I am still on an official bed-resting-phase (which I hope to be lifted on my next check-up, but husband would rather let me stay in until I pop), I rarely go out and my schedule hasn't been normal.  I may have a full-time job, I go to the office everyday meet and truly enjoy the company of the same faces, but I make sure I do something to not make it routinary.  Now I'm on house-arrest, there are times that boredom kicks in because I do the same things day in and day out, my activities are limited, so I try hard to fight it by doing these things.

There are times I get to go out, never without my husband, on weekdays to visit the office (with my OB's clearance of course), and on weekends with the whole family.  When I do, I make the most out of the day by putting an agenda in every preggy "field trip."  I never thought that going out could mean so much to me, especially with my condition, so I learned more about patience, contentment in little things, and appreciation during these times.  One of which that occupied one field trip day was shopping for our upcoming baby boy! :)

My usual mall or shopping outfit.  Comfort and style is for me!

Wrote about my thoughts on motherhood, parenting, pausing and mom wars while sipping coffee.

Sometimes I wonder, am I doing it correctly or where have I gone wrong?  In the more than a decade being a mom to boys, I find myself examining my parenting style if I indeed paved a road to bringing up responsible little men or groomed them incorrectly?

Ahh... parenting or motherhood, is such a hard task which was assigned to us from the moment of the inception of our children in our wombs, whether ready or not.  If the blessing is given to you, you have to fulfill the mother role to your offspring immediately.

When I was a first time mom to my elder child, I didn’t have any idea on caring for another human being and bringing him up to be the fine young man I’ve envisioned him to be.  But so as when I became a mom the second time around to my little one, the experience was totally different.  The digital landscape was so vast too, that bringing up the second one was a lot easier, so I thought.  The two boys are alike and different in more ways than one.

I’m not saying that I am breezing through parenting like a real pro or an expert.  I certainly am not an expert even if I’ve had two already.  I do have struggles in keeping myself sane and composed when it comes to disciplining them.  I also lose control at times.  I sometimes lose it and feel frustrated too.  There were times when I beat myself to guilt when I feel that I’m failing.

I’m just like you.  I feel exactly just how you do.  I get tired everyday.  I feel bad when expectations are not met.  I feel horrible when my kids make the same mistakes over and over again even if I’ve eternally reminded them (especially the older one).  I also wish to take a break (a long one) to leave them to whoever is available to look after them.

I know how you feel, I feel that too.

Want to know what I do to combat these crazy thoughts or to dismiss these insane feelings?  I don’t leave, I don’t shout, I don’t lose it in front of them nor in front of hubby.  I PAUSE.

I pause to think and decide well.  I pause to examine myself if the words which came out of my mouth were helpful, healthy and constructive OR discouraging, harmful, hurtful and destructive.  I pause to give them a break too.  I pause to give myself and my sons, quiet and reflective time to assess everything.

Pausing helps to prevent saying things we don’t really mean and yet we’ve pierced the hearts of our children with hurtful things we already said.

Pausing helps in making both parties, the parent and the child/ren, realize the mistakes done and by doing so, make things happen to correct them.

Most importantly, I pause to PRAY.  I pray that I may fulfill my duty as my children’s mother.  I pray that I will have more patience.  I pray that I will be able to keep up with my children’s activities as they grow older.  I pray that I'd be consistent in the parenting and disciplining styles I use on them.  I pray that I will always be conscious in setting a good example so I may teach them more effectively.  I pray for a bigger and more forgiving heart, so that I may truly give them my unconditional love no matter what may they may turn out to be.

So being a mother is one hell of a tough job.  Being a mother, whether you breastfeed or not, stay at/work from home or not, is a role which drains you physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, and we don’t need another mother pinning us down just because we are not the type of mother that they are.  That’s the last thing we would ever need.

Why not, let’s just support each other and pray for each other: That we’ll be able to rear our children to the best of our abilities and capabilities; That we’ll be able to bring up good children;  That we’ll have enough strength each day to do our chores at home or at work and at the same time keep an eye on our children;  That we and our children stay healthy and safe all the time; and lastly, that we’ll not go crazy while going through good or tough parenting times.

No matter how sleep deprived, tired, sometimes abused (physically, mentally, financially, and even psychologically! lol), I would never trade being a mother to anything in this world!  I am a little bit sentimental lately about my role as a mother to my seven-year apart sons.  I feel like I regularly have to check on myself and assess how I fair as their mother.    

Parenting style and communication are different for these two stages.  They are almost a decade apart.  So when we're together in a room, I consciously shift my tone and even the extent of my patience to both.  But one thing I am mindful at all times is how I express my LOVE, admiration, and fairness to both boys.  I don't want any of them to think or feel that one is more loved or that I pay more attention to the other.   I know it will be a continuous process until such time when they are both mature enough to know the magic motherhood tricks I do all their growing up life.
ADJUSTING AND BALANCING ACT

MOTHERHOOD AND PARENTING ARE BLESSINGS
I can say that no parenting style is exactly alike because no child of any parent is alike, at all.  I always say, to each his own.  As long as what you are teaching and doing for your children works for their positive physical, mental, emotional, and psychological development, then you're doing a great job.  Every child entrusted to us by God to nurture, to protect, to teach, to mold, is a blessing.  Therefore, parenting these little humans formed inside our wombs miraculously, is indeed a blessing.  No matter how hard you think it is, (because it really, truly is) it is a wonderful gift from God.

I love my children so much and if you're a parent too, I can just imagine how you always wept tears of joy whenever your child says "I love you" back, kisses and hugs you or reaches a milestone.  It's pure joy, an indescribable amount of internal happiness, when you always think of and prioritize what's best for your child.  It's a blessing to witness these gifts of God grow and learn with you.

They will not be with us for as long as we want them under our care, but by surrounding them with LOVE and teaching them well, our children will make us proud and will forever make our hearts full and happy.