Oh what do you know, it's already 11:00am and it's the first time I sat for more than five minutes.  I haven't done this in a while (sit, face my laptop in peace, and write/blog - for as long as I can without interruption).  Welcome to my new normal.

I don't know if you would agree with me when I say that deep inside as a woman, we believe that we can do so much (sometimes we think we can do even more than some men - aminin!) to contribute to the society, earn our own money, be independent and self-sustaining, and be leaders and succeed in the fields we choose to be in.

Having our own money makes us feel secured and fulfilled, tama ba?  That's why, the moment we stepped out of college - we looked for jobs or entered a business venture, climbed the corporate ladder, and fulfill our career dreams!

That's exactly what I did!   Even when I became a mom the first time, the second and third time - I took on an 8 - 5 job (even rendered more hours than that actually!) to help support the family's monthly expenses, send my children to school, and help sustain the budget for our growing family's needs and wants (gifts, play dates, parties, travels, and many adventures!).  And while I earn more and more each year, I also spend more and more TIME AWAY from my children.

Working Mom Sacrifice: TIME AWAY  from my children
That was the sacrifice I made.  TIME AWAY from my children.  It worked out for almost 20 years in the corporate world - so I thought.  It was okay with my eldest because when he was growing up as a child, I was still starting with my career which meant I can get off early from work to come home to him right away.  I was still young and full of energy which also meant I had a lot of active play time with him.  Though I wasn't making much then, simple fast food dining in or free play in some playgrounds made him beam with so much joy.  He grew up happy, confident, and secured.

When my second child was born. my career was starting to blossom, I also got a promotion and though I was still young and had the energy, time wasn't enough.  I had to stay longer in the office.  I traveled frequently and stayed longer outside than at home.  I was earning better because apart from my office job, I also started blogging and earned a little, I started an online business, and I pursued my TVC career as well.  I could pretty much say we had more resources when my second son was born.  But TIME with him was compromised - and I REGRET it today.

Our family was more financially secured when my third child was conceived and born.  We had a lot more resources, I also enjoyed performance bonuses at work, my blog was earning better too, and I do other sideline projects here and there.  We had something to spend but our energies were decreasing.  In addition to that, since both of us are working - we were just repeating the same pattern as what happened to our second child.

During this time too, we've become Christians and we can say that our relationship with God has improved so much.  He saved our family from the cycle of living just to survive without having a solid life and after-life purpose.
How did GOD do that? He prepared and saved me personally from potential family damage that I may cause by not spending time with my children. He is sovereign and He knew that I will be led to resign, so He did all these things to prepare me for this new life journey:
- By putting my 3rd pregnancy at risk - He did this so I could slow down, stay at home until I give birth and get a feel of what's it like being just at home all day for three months.  He made this happen so I could see how happy my kids got when they find me in the room waiting for them, instead of the usual them, waiting for me.

- By letting me have an emergency CS - As if the three months OB-ordered bed rest wasn't enough, the 2-hour 10 cm delivery became an emergency CS, so I could stay longer at home with my newborn and the kids, and master breastfeeding.

- By letting me choose to exclusively breastfeed - By letting me have a longer maternity leave, I was able to exclusively breastfeed my baby for three months.  In that three months of breastfeeding by demand, I've seen how beautifully a woman's body is created that we're able to feed our offspring.  That made me decide to commit to exclusively breastfeed my baby for one year.  Going back to work was a challenge especially after staying at home for about six months (bed rest plus maternity leave).  To pump at work two to three times a day is a commitment and I saw it as God's way to make me feel closer to home even if I was at work.

- By letting us lose our yaya three times last year - We fired the first one, the second, third, and fourth were temps.  The one that came back after her vacation, just left without any notice.  this situation left me with no choice but to take leaves (finish them even sick leaves actually) to be able to stay at home and care for the baby.  This led me and my husband to seriously assess our situation.  Should I still stay or should I go now? We prayed really hard for this, the first time we did, God's answer was "not yet."  Then last December, it was clear, God's answer was "Yes, it's time."  So come January this year, I resigned from my 10-year job.

- By showering us with projects last quarter of 2017 - I just surrendered everything to God this time.  I admit to getting anxiety attacks during the first 2 weeks after my husband and I decided on my resignation.  But I prayed more and just put all my trust in Him.  I know I am doing everything to glorify Him.  I know I can never go wrong with the very reason why I was resigning - for my children - my real life's ministry. Without any replacement job, most would say, I am crazy.  Leaving a very stable and well-compensated (complete benefits pa) job without any plan?  That's crazy, but for me, it's obedience to what God really wants for our family.  And by just obeying, I soon realized, how God planned this for me.  He gave me  projects during the last quarter and every paid project will be my receivables for the first up to third quarter of this year.  I mean. wow God!  You're so full of surprises.  He's impressed on me to just really put my trust, put all my faith in Him that He will provide, He will never leave nor forsake me, and that He has plans to prosper me and never to harm.

BAHALA NA SI BATMAN - NO!  BAHALA NA SI GOD! 
So now, I am more than a month unemployed and I am loving every moment of it.  I seriously didn't plan this.  I even told a colleague my 2018 plans at work and how I wasn't going to resign anytime soon or that I would probably wait until the company retires my service.

Grabe ang galing ni God because when God wants something for you, even if you plan something else for yourself, God will make a way to make things happen.  Nothing really happens by accident.  All you have to do is to obey, be faithful, and trust that God will provide.

That's all I did.  And I've never been happier losing a full-time well-paying corporate job without any replacement than this phase in my life.  I am with my children almost 24/7 because there are still times I go out for events and meetings.  I get to blog whenever I want without feeling guilty.  I am now able to fulfill my homemaker dreams.  I am now able to pursue other passion projects I will later on reveal.  I also feel that God is preparing me more for something great.  I just don't know what exactly, but I know He is.  I've been living lighter, stress-free and praise God for letting me leave my corporate life.

So there's my resignation story.  :)  Are you a working mom?  Or also resigned like me?  Or a full-time mom working at home and chose to leave corporate a looooong time ago for the kids?  How's it been?  What's your story?  I want to hear yours and learn as well.  Please do share. :)

Happy new year to all of you supporters and readers of my blog.  How was your new year's eve celebration?  Ours was just as simple as having Media Noche together as a family and simply welcoming 2018 with a bang!

So how was your 2017 loves?  Personally, I can't say that 2017 was an awesome year for me but it was a year full of breakthroughs, yaya challenges, milestone celebrations of my children, blog struggles (a long phase of writer's block but more of the passion took a vacation somewhere, but is now back baby!) career plateau and 10 year mark, and the unforgettable renewal and total surrender of my life to Jesus Christ.  It was an Ups-And-Downs ride for me this 2017, and it definitely taught me important life lessons and had reset my perspective on many things to ready me for this year.

I want to share them with you and I hope you also get something out of these personal realizations of mine.

But first, let me share a throwback of the year that was through some photos I have shared with you via IG or my Facebook page throughout the year:

First time Damien ate solids! :)

First family photo of the year.

Enchanted Kingdom where I tried a liver-flippin' ride for the first time.

IndustreeTV shoot

Damien's first beach trip. :)

Mother's Day with kids doing something we all love - SWIMMING!

Damien turned ONE!!!!

My husband turned 30 something - lost count na!  Hahahaha!

My first born turned 14!  Waaahh I can't believe how fast he's grown!

A milestone 7th birthday celebration of my second son.

Bataan family getaway

I turned a year short from 40. :)

A life-changing retreat attendance with my son Wes and my public declaration of my total surrender to Jesus!

Looking at my photos, I also realized that I've focused a lot on my family.  I celebrated every milestone and I also prioritized them most often over everything.  There were sacrifices made and compromises done to some areas in my life but I never regret and will never ever regret making my family my priority.

Now let me share with you what I already knew in the past but was impressed to me more last 2017.

1.  Prioritize Family Always
I've dealt with numerous yaya problems last year which made me take almost all my vacation and sick leaves from work or do a work from home stunt just to stay at home to take care of my baby and do all the house chores.  My career and even blog was compromised because of the indefinite helpless situation but those didn't matter that much to me as much as it did in the past because I know my priority is my family. My family is my ministry.  Well, the office and the bloggy world will always have someone/anyone to replace me, but I will always and forever be irreplaceable to my husband and children.  I've learned not to adore my job too much that I sacrifice the welfare of my children.  But this didn't mean I slacked in office work or even with blog, it just took a backseat a bit but was still able to deliver what needs to be done.  Job will come, money will come.  But the time which passed, the milestones of the kids you missed, the health, safety and welfare that's compromised - once they're gone.. you can never go back in time and get them all back nor rewind them.

2.  Submit To Your Husband
I admit to be a stubborn, a bit bratty, proud, fearless, know-it-all, self-reliant, independent woman who finds her husband an equal - BEFORE.  Until my husband and I renewed our relationship with God and attended our weekly DGroup meetings (a small support group for couples to share both blessing and struggles of every day in marriage and family who come together to learn more about God and align hearts to what God really wants for us), I learned a lot about the important roles of the husband and the wife in the family.  I was guilty of not submitting to my husband and following his leadership for the family.  I used to be too proud to say that "I can actually live without him..." or that "If he can do it, so can I!" and the mahaderang asawa lines could go on and on.  I am not proud about that.  But I am glad that I've changed my ways and perspectives on marriage and how I look at my husband right now.  I submit to him now more than ever.. and there's more peace, happiness, tolerance, and patience at home now more than ever.

3.  Health Is Wealth
Just like prioritizing family, we should also prioritize health.  How will you be a wife to your husband and take care of your children while they are young if you're ill right?  Never take health for granted.  As moms - homemakers or working moms, we tend to take on everything.  We tend to say, "I can do this!" or "Ooops that spot isn't sparkly clean yet, let me tidy some more!" or "I have to finish all the tasks on my to do lists." and so on and on.  And not to mention, we wake up early in the morning, do chores, go to work and stress out, suck in traffic blues, clean the house again, and sleep late.  Yun ang culprit, PUYAT and PAGOD.  Both are enemies of our health.  If you're tired, it's okay not to pick up and organize all the messed up toys.  When we tend to do so much and don't get enough sleep, we get tired easily, we get stressed, and different sicknesses kick in.  When it does, REST and don't say "No.. it's all in the mind I can do it."  If you've got health card, use it (abuse even!) and have yourself checked.  For women, get vaccinated against HPV, do self-breast-examination regularly, see your OB-Gyn doctor.  Healthy food and exercise should also be part of our TO DO lists.  I think I am telling this to myself out loud.  Personally, now that I am nearing 40, sometimes fear lures around the corner because I have a breast mass which needs to be checked via sonomammogram every six months.  Having a tip-top shape healthy body  should be every moms' priority. And by healthy it doesn't mean just losing weight but more of being strong.  So that's my goal for this year, to get back to eating more fresh colorful foods (fruits and veggies) and avoid bad cholesterol.  Again, health is wealth.

4.  You Win Some You Lose Some
Sure you didn't get that promotion or nailed that presentation to get your dream client or in my case I wasn't considered in some projects or collaborations with brands that I hoped to represent or be an ambassador of.  If I were the old me, I would feel a little jealous of others who got the promotion faster than I did or others who got the blog project and would compare them to me.  Ask WHY NOT ME?  But nah, that's the old me.  Though I'm not really full on envious of others victories, I am not perfect and I humbly admit that to these mistakes.  You know what happened to me?  Self-esteem was blown away, self-doubt rushed in, and I even questioned my relevance.  But I changed the way I look at all these things and was able to move on from things I didn't get or achieve and just celebrated the things that I did.  When we pray to God for something, (and please remember God is not a genie that we only call on to when we need something hehe!) never question his answers because He may say Yes, No or Later.  Why?  Because He always has something BETTER for us, trust me!  I know.  So you win some, you lose some, and know that it is okay. :)

5.  Learn To Let Go Of Some Friends
 This may be one of the hardest to do sometimes, to let go of people in your lives who do not bring you or give you value, who belittle you, who were never happy when you achieve something, and who do not bring you close to God. Not all relationships are bound to last.  Those whom you thought you've found gems in them may lose their luster.  Those you've trusted with your all and sold it to others behind you aren't worth your time and effort.  Those who can't afford to be honest to you no matter how much it may hurt and didn't even bother to give you the answers you needed when asked, no point in continuing the relationship.  When you lose friends or end relationships along the way, it's God's way of pruning, molding, and directing you to the path He wants you to take.  Some friendships or affiliations don't always work and do not bring Him glory and thus there are unexpected E-O-Fs or F-Os (End of Friendship or Friendship Over) along the way.  Accept it with grace, let go of them, and move on.

6.  Forgive Even Those Who Didn't Ask For It
 To them who had done you so wrong, who had hurt you, who betrayed you, who bullied you, who took you for granted, who left you, who didn't stand up for you - it could be your mom or dad, any of your siblings, your best friend, an ex, your colleague, and even your spouse, don't harbor hatred, it will make you look older, prune bitterness in your heart, turn it to resentment and let it affect the person you are to become.  Sometimes pa, we may not know it but we are in denial saying that we've forgiven a person yet will never forget what they have done.  When we forgive, we forgive totally.  We let go of everything that comes with the pain or hurts or brokenness we experienced with that person or persons.  And even if these people do not ask forgiveness, okay lang, forgive anyway.  You are doing this more for yourself and for the Lord.

7.  Surrender Your ALL To God
Early last year, my husband and my eldest attended a retreat organized by CCF (Christ Commission Fellowship). Last December, Wes and I attended CCF's (Christ Commission Fellowship) True Life Retreat where we both deeply understood how much God loves us that He sacrificed His own Son to save us from our sins so we could all receive the gift of salvation when our "time" comes.  I used to just hear and accept those words casually and didn't fully understood them deeply.  We've also been attending services in CCF more regularly as a family since the start of the year.  Since then, one answered prayer after the other happened.  I didn't say challenges in our marriage, kids, work, and financials didn't occur anymore.  Of course they did, but our spiritual maturity has helped us cope better, accept these things better, worry lesser, fight lesser, be convicted quicker when we did something wrong or not so good, and this made us forgive more openly, and apologize immediately.  Our prides are still being crushed because we're still works in progress.  My husband is now more intentional, he's more patient to me, he's more thoughtful, he's now saying SORRY (which is a very hard thing to say for a man most of the time right ladies?) and he has stepped up in leading our family closer to God.  By surrendering to God and lifting up all to Him (everything talaga, challenges, triumphs, frustrations, anxieties, worries, bitterness, as in everything!) our family life has changed all for the better.  Our relationships are more knitted together, communication is more open, we pray together at night, my relationship with my husband has improved, my outlook in life has been more positive, and the past hurts and brokenness had been slowly taken away.  There's no way to go but UP with God!

These are the lessons that were impressed more to me this 2017.  These aren't new but every year because of my spiritual growth and maturity, I look at these lessons or topics at different perspectives.  All I know is I am happy to still be alive, to have renewed my personal relationship with Jesus, that my family and I are healthy, safe, and together, that I am less stressed and less worried, that I am more focused, and that I've never felt so alive!  I've also never felt so much loved by my family and of course by God.

Cheers to an awesome 2018!  Thank you for your continuous support and love for my blog.  Happy new year to everyone!

A full-time working mom's life becomes less crazy, less tiring, more manageable, and actually possible with the help of a YAYA.  Finding a good yaya is like finding a pot of gold nowadays.  Yes, seriously!  I've had my share of yaya horror stories and worse, losing a yaya for a good solid 4 months, while still working in the corporate world AND without any available help from anyone.

Father's day weekend went by so quickly without me being able to really celebrate it with my dad.  The busyness of yaya-finding, work, and taking care of my own family took the celebration a backseat.  So I want to give tribute to my dad in this post.

Ever since my mom passed away three years ago yesterday, my dad became both the Ilaw at Haligi ng Tahanan.  Not that he does the things my mom did when she was still with us.  But Daddy goes beyond what he usually does every day to show me how much he loves me and my kids, and express his extra concern about me especially whenever I would get sick or I was on medical bedrest when I got pregnant last year, and when my kids lost their yayas.  Dad would bring or buy me my favorite food or remind me of my meds and he would even help me wash dishes even if he didn't have to.  He would volunteer to look after the kids.  He just wanted to unload me of the house chores especially after coming home from work or from a physically draining task.  These are the things he started doing for me when mom passed away.  He became more present and more expressive of his love.

Indeed, he's a SUPER DAD.
I grew up closer to mom who was a housewife because dad was always in the office working hard to provide for the family.  He sent us to good schools, we lived decently, we were able to go to many places, and he was able to buy both our needs and some wants.  He taught us many values that kept us grounded, contented, and responsible.  Now that I have my own family, I understand why he was always away.  And I now know, for the times he was away from us every day just to work, how he wanted to just be at home and spend time for us.  But he sacrificed that, because he's a DAD - our SuperDad.

I remembered my Dad in this heartwarming Father’s Day tribute, three real-life fathers share the ups and downs of being the man of the house.

(Sandali, pause reading, and get a box of tissue please!)

How they work hard to be able to provide their family everything they need and how affected they are when they see their children go through heartaches.

Meet Daddy Harold, Daddy Mario and Daddy Rowel who talk about how much they love their families, and why they don’t mind making sacrifices if it means seeing their children grow up happy and well, and most importantly, that their families remain intact.
After watching the video, I really cried hard and realized that although I always tell my dad how much I appreciate everything he does for me, feeling ko it's still not enough.  I should be spending more time with him and do more things for him, kasi tapos na siya sa mga obligations niya sa akin.  But he's so selfless!  I guess I will forever be the little and only girl in his eyes.

Just like the contentment and happiness in the eyes of the three fathers in the tribute video, I'm sure my dad will also feel the same way with an extra mile gesture from me and my siblings to show him our appreciation not only during Father's Day season, but for the rest of his life with us.

Daddy, I love you and Happy Belated Father's Day!

Now how do you celebrate your father's love?