Feeling Under The Weather. =(
Warning: This is an emote post. Please bear with me. Hello Muthers, how’s your day doing so far? If you would ask me, I’m not having a ...
Warning: This is an emote post. Please bear with me.
Hello Muthers, how’s your day doing so far? If you would ask me, I’m not having a great morning, not feeling well too (physically and emotionally.)
Why you may I ask, because of the following reasons:
- I’m having a terrible migraine.
- I reprimanded my Dandre this morning before going to school, a day after his birthday.
- I’m filing a half-day SL again and they are near depletion already.
- I had a feat with my crying (make that nagwawala with matching hampas sa door) toddler because he doesn’t want me to go to work.
I feel so guilty for getting mad at him the day after his birthday. I think that’s the reason why I am super heartbroken, which also caused my migraine. I feel so bad because I had to do it and that he cried because he disappointed me.
I want to give him a good future and a quality education, that’s why I sent him to a good school. Sometimes we get frustrated at things when it’s not going our way. But I know that it’s also not correct to expect too much when you know for yourself that you work Mondays to Fridays and come home late.
Now that’s where my guilt kicked in. I expect him to do really well in school but yet, I’m not physically always there to guide him and tutor him with his studies. Yes I may have set him study guidelines, but it’s different when you are actually there right? I just feel so bad right now. My heart is crying in pain.
I sometimes am envious of mommies who work from home because apart from generating an income for the family, they get to be with their kids at home. But for now, our situation is telling me that that’s not an option, maybe in the future. I’m heavily contemplating on that lately.
Family comes first yes, but I sacrifice that part at times, because I had to leave the house everyday for work. Not that I am complaining, I’m blessed to have the job I have and the benefits that come with it. But my heart is unnaturally conditioned to suck the separation anxiety all in, especially with my smart and sweet toddler. If I could have it my way, I would want to bring him to work every day. Or, if I am the company owner, I would build a huge play area for my parent-employees who want to bring their kids to work. This way, my employees would no longer leave home with a heavy heart. But Louise, only in your perfect world.
Anyway, I know I have to make a more efficient study routine and guidelines for my big boy and a better Mommy’s-Now’Going-To-Work-Bye-Baby technique (without bribing ha!)
Would you recommend any Super Mommy Power pill to me? If you know any, hit it at the comments below please? Tomorrow’s going to be better I know. K, Thanks, Bai.
P.S. Pasensya na sa emote ko Muthers, minsan lang yan. Alam niyo yan. :)