Oh No! Our Yaya is Pregnant (Part 1)
This is probably one of those hard-to-write posts because it will talk about complexity, complications, hard situations, teen pregnancy, res...
This is probably one of those hard-to-write posts because it will talk about complexity, complications, hard situations, teen pregnancy, responsibility, employer-employee relationship and an unborn child whose future lies in the hands of his mother and the people around his/her mother.
My toddler's yaya has confirmed to us last night that she's pregnant.
When we were able to gather information about her situation by asking help from her "Tita" to make her confess (to whom she did,) and after asking friends and my readers some advice on how to address the situation, we decided last night that it was time to talk to her and know what she really plans to do and offer her options and help as well.
Macky and I were very careful during the entire conversation because I know how it is to be pregnant, lost, helpless, confused and fearful. I started by saying that we both understand why she hadn't been honest to us when we asked her about it because she's still young and she was actually trembling when we were talking to her. She cried right away, those tears which I felt were tears of relief, because she finally was able to let it out.
- She's below 20 years old who hails from Samar.
- Their house was wiped out by the recent super typhoon #YolandaPH.
- She's fourth of 11 children and is helping her parents support her younger siblings by sending them to school.
- The father of the child doesn't have any idea that he impregnated her.
- She also found out that the baby daddy has lived in with another woman.
- They broke up before she learned that she's pregnant.
If you were in her place, you would definitely feel stressed, worried, hopeless and fearful. As much as we do understand her situation, we have our own concerns as well.
I cannot bear the thought of terminating her just because she couldn't help much and that she's in that situation. It's difficult to be discriminated or rejected just because you are pregnant. Another thing, we also thought, where will she go? To whom will she turn to? How will she able to support the child? Who else will support her when there's no father?
Maybe she was sent to us for a reason. Now the questions are: Who will shoulder her check up, medicines and childbirth expenses? Who will take care of my child when she's on "Maternity Leave?" Admittedly, we can't take in all those expenses. Then, finding another yaya is very difficult these days. All these responsibilities instantly became part of our stresses, as if currently life isn't that stressful for us already at home, work, expenses, and everything in between.
When I posted this dilemma on my Facebook Page, I was overwhelmed with genuine concerns from my friends and readers. I am very thankful that I received valuable suggestions and some offered help in unimaginable length. God is definitely moving mountains and His hands are miraculously working their ways. From my own confusions and doubts, the answers were given to me. Because of all the love I got from my friends and readers, it got me thinking straighter and made me figure out how to handle the situation better.
We didn't impose on her. We asked first what her plans are or at least what her thoughts and feelings are towards the unborn child. These were what she said:
- She cannot tell parents or any of her family because her papa and brothers might "kill" her. If she comes home this December with a pregnant belly, it will bring shame to her family.
- She opts not to tell the baby daddy because he has another "family" already.
- She doesn't intend to keep the baby when she gives birth because she cannot support the baby as she is supporting the rest of her siblings and there's no one to leave the baby with.
- She plans to have the baby adopted.