Oh No! Our Yaya is Pregnant (Part 1)

This is probably one of those hard-to-write posts because it will talk about complexity, complications, hard situations, teen pregnancy, res...

This is probably one of those hard-to-write posts because it will talk about complexity, complications, hard situations, teen pregnancy, responsibility, employer-employee relationship and an unborn child whose future lies in the hands of his mother and the people around his/her mother.

My toddler's yaya has confirmed to us last night that she's pregnant.  

Source
Source

WHAAAAATTT???!!  OH NO! - were our first few reactions.  What now?  Well, it's been two months that Macky noticed her protruding and growing stomach.  She can't possibly continue to hide it because she's petite and rather quite skinny.  It's very obvious already.  I was guessing it's around five months.  So at different occasions, Mac and I asked her if she is pregnant.  Her answer to us both was a sure NO.

When we were able to gather information about her situation by asking help from her "Tita" to make her confess (to whom she did,) and after asking friends and my readers some advice on how to address the situation, we decided last night that it was time to talk to her and know what she really plans to do and offer her options and help as well.

Macky and I were very careful during the entire conversation because I know how it is to be pregnant, lost, helpless, confused and fearful.  I started by saying that we both understand why she hadn't been honest to us when we asked her about it because she's still young and she was actually trembling when we were talking to her.  She cried right away, those tears which I felt were tears of relief, because she finally was able to let it out.

Her Situation
Source
Let me just enumerate her background, for you to better understand how difficult her situation is right now.

  • She's below 20 years old who hails from Samar.  
  • Their house was wiped out by the recent super typhoon #YolandaPH.  
  • She's fourth of 11 children and is helping her parents support her younger siblings by sending them to school.  
  • The father of the child doesn't have any idea that he impregnated her.  
  • She also found out that the baby daddy has lived in with another woman.  
  • They broke up before she learned that she's pregnant.  

If you were in her place, you would definitely feel stressed, worried, hopeless and fearful.  As much as we do understand her situation, we have our own concerns as well.

Our Situation
Source
If I am not a mom, I would probably just go for my gut feel to terminate her because the main reason we got her is we needed help.  Being pregnant will instead give me worry instead of help.  But I perfectly understand her situation, so with all our capacity, we tried to think of options for her to simplify everything.  My son is close to her and that only means that she's good to him.  I've had the last two yayas whom he didn't feel comfortable with.  This yaya is different.  I know that she has a kind heart and that she loves my son.  For me, that alone is very important.

I cannot bear the thought of terminating her just because she couldn't help much and that she's in that situation.  It's difficult to be discriminated or rejected just because you are pregnant.  Another thing, we also thought, where will she go?  To whom will she turn to?  How will she able to support the child?  Who else will support her when there's no father?

Maybe she was sent to us for a reason.  Now the questions are:  Who will shoulder her check up, medicines and childbirth expenses?  Who will take care of my child when she's on "Maternity Leave?"  Admittedly, we can't take in all those expenses.  Then, finding another yaya is very difficult these days.  All these responsibilities instantly became part of our stresses, as if currently life isn't that stressful for us already at home, work, expenses, and everything in between.

Her Options
When I posted this dilemma on my Facebook Page, I was overwhelmed with genuine concerns from my friends and readers.  I am very thankful that I received valuable suggestions and some offered help in unimaginable length.  God is definitely moving mountains and His hands are miraculously working their ways.  From my own confusions and doubts, the answers were given to me.  Because of all the love I got from my friends and readers, it got me thinking straighter and made me figure out how to handle the situation better.

We didn't impose on her.  We asked first what her plans are or at least what her thoughts and feelings are towards the unborn child.  These were what she said:

  • She cannot tell parents or any of her family because her papa and brothers might "kill" her.  If she comes home this December with a pregnant belly, it will bring shame to her family.
  • She opts not to tell the baby daddy because he has another "family" already.
  • She doesn't intend to keep the baby when she gives birth because she cannot support the baby as she is supporting the rest of her siblings and there's no one to leave the baby with.
  • She plans to have the baby adopted.
To be continued on Part 2....

~If you are faced in this situation, how would you handle it?  What options are you going to offer her?  Will you still keep her or look for another yaya?~




You Might Also Like

8 comments

  1. *She cannot tell parents or any of her family because her papa and brothers might "kill" her. If she comes home this December with a pregnant belly, it will bring shame to her family.

    - I've been here dear yaya, done that. Akala ko nung nalman ko na preggy akey,hindi matatanggap ng family ko, yes, Its ashamed for the family, but It's there already.Sooner or later, matatanggap nila yan. Why? pamilya pa rin nila yan, lalo ang magulang.. remember " Walang,magulang na matitiis ang anak" I have prove it already !

    *She opts not to tell the baby daddy because he has another "family" already.

    - Well, in this case, they aren't married yet,pa naman ata kasi sabi mo Lived in..why don't you try to talk to the dad, malay mo naman diba,tanggapin naman niya yung baby at kilalanin..

    *She doesn't intend to keep the baby when she gives birth because she cannot support the baby as she is supporting the rest of her siblings and there's no one to leave the baby with.

    - that is impossible! I am a single mom rin , but I have done everything to support my daughter.. At first mahirap but I tried my best to support her without any help from her dad.

    *She plans to have the baby adopted.

    - Ahahahha.. SINABI ko na rin yan, but when I gave birth, everything changed,.. Unless talagang wala ka ang konsensya..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, that's heavy... we had a situation months ago which I haven't blogged about yet. the daughter of my cousin (who is working for me as a housekeeper) got pregnant, hid it (although I noticed it)for seven months, and she was just a year older than my daughter who just turned 17. Kaloka di ba, babies having babies. (and technically lola na ako?) Naawa ako sobra sa cousin ko because she tried to do everything for her daughter and ganun pa nangyari. And she had typhoid fever pa on her seventh month and needed to be hospitalized. Tapos, na-caesarian eh di pa qualified ang philhealth ng cousin ko since wala pang one year na naghuhulog so she had to make utang from us (30,000 ang bill) But you know, I told her the moral thing that she did was keep the baby. Ngayon, may baby na sa house and she brings such joy. (although I get recurring nightmares about my daughter getting pregnant-waah, tinding bangungot talaga yun pwamis). If i were in your situation, di ko naman pwedeng sisantehin si yaya kasi she has nowhere to go na...just talk to her and let her accept the fact na ipapa-adopt nya. Kasi di ba when a mom sees her baby, may bond agad yan and she won't want to give the baby away na. Ipasok mo sa isip nya na the baby will not have a good future with her...

    ReplyDelete
  3. hi Louise. honestly, if we have yaya problems, nagiging part na din yan ng home problems. I am so happy na you opted to help her kasi she is like a family na to you. hopefully God will guide her and you to the right decision. 2 months ago, we were faced with a yaya problem na akala ko hindi namin malulusutan - but God gave us the solution in the right timing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sheena Mamaril MalateNovember 19, 2013 at 8:55 AM

    Hi Ms. Louise, it's really a tough decision to make. Nakakalerki!! Based sa nakikita ko, suggestion ko lang, siguro yung expenses sa child bearing nya hanggang sa panganganak, i-shoulder niyo muna, tapos magiging kaltas na lang siyasa sahod nya. Kasi as I can see, wala syang kakayanan kung hindi sya magwwork at wala din siyang aasahan.

    Suggest ko lang na you keep her. It seems like nasa 2nd trimester na sya kaya medyo magaan na syang makakagalaw to do simple house chores. And as you said, gusto sya ng kiddo mo, mahirap makahanap ng yaya na komportable ang anak mo.

    Pregnancy, hindi naman forever yan. After ilang months lang, after niya manganak, magiging ok din naman lahat. I am sure na magiging greatful sya at mas aayusin nya pa work nya pag nakapanganak na sya. Knowing na you didn't give her up.

    After nya manganak, if she can't keep the baby talaga, support her na lang in arranging requirements sa pagpapaadopt ng baby.

    Everything is just a suggestion lang po. Good day and God less you always. I will include you in my prayers, na sana i-guide kayo ni God sa decision na gagawin niyo. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Sheena! Winner ang sinabi mo. MISMO. Thanks for taking time.. I'll brle making my part 2 in the coming days.. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks Nerisa. Hubby and I said, we could never be wrong with helping her. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Marie, it's really tough no? 300k gastos ng cuz mo? Grabe! Anyway, yaya is going for the baby but will have it adopted. Iask her everyday if she's sure about that. Regarding expenses, a friend who teaches childbirth at a shelter for preggy teenage moms referred me to that institution where big expenses may be shouldered by them. At least she didn't think of aborting it early on..

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks Jocris for sharing to me how strong you were when you went through almost the same situation. I hope she has all the courage and strength you have. If she's not a kasambahay, if she finished college maybe her options are not as limited as now. Have a nice day love!

    ReplyDelete

FOLLOW @MOMMYPRACTICALITY ON INSTAGRAM

Instagram



Mommy Practicality is a home and lifestyle blog that's about positive, informative, 
inspirational and helpful sharing of life experiences of a working mom 
with topics on motherhood, relationships, events, food, travel, shopping, and finances. 
It hopes to influence moms and women to realize 
that it's possible to live a quality life while choosing a practical lifestyle.



Receive all updates via Facebook. Just Click the Like Button Below

Powered By Blogger Widgets