That's right!  I am already 41.  It seems like just yesterday that I celebrated a milestone (turning 4-0 that is) with a catered swimming kiddie-party-themed-party, which my husband surprised me with. It seemed like not long ago I just turned 30 with a very aggressive mindset of a go-getter and fighter spirited woman who wanted to reach for the stars.  It seemed like turning 20 and graduating from college was just a few years ago - a woman full of idealistic dreams and who seemed like she had a lot to prove to people.

I've come a long way since then.  I've changed a lot.  I've transformed 180 degrees.  From being too ambitious - to being happily content.  To someone who was too stubborn and proud - to just being submissive and humbled.  To someone close to being bitchy (slight lang) - to being someone people trust and come to for comfort and encouragement.

I transformed not for anything else but because of God's grace.  I never knew that being simple, content, obedient, humble, and knowing and accepting Christ could bring me so much joy.

I used to think I should acquire a lot of material things so people will look up to me.  I used to think I should hold a title or an intimidating job function so that people will respect me.  I used to think that I should have lots of savings so that people will not belittle me.  I used to think I should always show a stern or bitchy face so people will not take me for a fool.  Now I am too embarrassed to even think that I thought of those things.

At 40, I've never been so content in my life.

I don't have a job.  I am a simple stay-at-home-mom.  I blog and create content because it's what I love doing and entertaining or inspiring others makes me happy.  I earn from doing what I love.  I am NOW a submissive wife, I used to be so stubborn and quite a handful for my husband (I can't be tamed, a lioness always ready to attack).  I am still a milk machine to my three and a half year old son.  I serve the music ministry in our church.  I still dream.  I am 41.

My life is now simpler and slower.  But I've never been happier.

But my life is far from perfect.  It wasn't a smooth road that I took to be at the state of peace it is right now.  To tell you honestly, my corporate career didn't fly to the height I wanted it to be, but I learned a lot.  My marriage almost didn't happen and when it did, it almost failed more than twice.  I also almost hit my car to an electric post to harm myself because of depression.  I had some regrets because my mom passed away too at a time I thought I wasn't as good of a daughter I know she wished me to be.  I lost many friends and I didn't understand why.

I was broken.  Piece by piece, God picked them up and made me whole again.   I relied on His strength and His sovereignty to lead me to the life I deserve and find joy in Him alone.

I thought I should gain a lot in order for me to be happy.  But instead, as I grew my faith in Christ, I learned that I should, in fact, Let Go and Give More, so I could gain more - not of material things but of more happiness and peace.  My transformation and new life perspective didn't come as easy as others thought it did.  I was pruned hard because at first, I was in denial about my brokenness.  Such a shame.  But as months and years went by since I first accepted Him, I learned more about myself.


I've never looked at my husband the way I look at him now.  I love him more than ever.  I've also never intentionally love my children the way I do them now and it's one of the greatest gifts of all as a mother.  I believe I've never affected my friends the way I do now as I pray whenever I would talk to each one of them saying only encouraging words according to what Jesus would have wanted me to say them.  I've never loved my life more than I do it right now.

Yes, I am happy and content at this state of my life.  But I also know that time will come that I need more pruning in order to grow more and deeper in faith.  I commit so many mistakes and still lose my temper and still gossip at times (kasi naman the Barretto sissums!), I still get irritated with my husband's trivial habits, and so many more, but I know I would've been worse if I had not accepted and met my savior.

Psalm 62:5-6 says "Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure."

Countless miracles and provisions happened in my life since I decided to follow Him.  I just cry each time in awe at how great He is in loving me.  There's no turning back, I say.

THANK YOU to everyone who remembered.  First of all to my loving and selfless husband, you are my rock.  Thank you to my children, who love me unconditionally and who say can't live without my hugs and kisses and I-Love-Yous.  To my family who is there always, I pray that I may also be able to share the love of Christ with you someday.  To all my brothers and sisters in Christ, thank you for guiding me and my husband in growing our faiths deeper and just totally surrendering all to Him.  Thank you to my friends whom I share and open up to.  Thank you to my blog followers and readers who are still here a large part of my journey.

Thank you Lord for this life.  I just pray for the best of health so I may still take care of my family and still be able to share God's grace and love to many.

Proverbs 31:25  She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

Happy Birthday to me.  God bless everyone! :)