I've been thinking a lot lately about the state of my mom life right now and where should I really be and what does God want me to do or where to go.  I'm blessed with three sons who capture all childhood stages: teenager, preschooler, and an infant.  Since I graduated from college, I have been working all my life (except for about two years when I got pregnant and gave birth to my first which made me experience being a stay-at-home-mommah.).  I've dabbled in different sideline jobs while working full-time.  In those times, I was able to earn extra while doing what I love doing and pursuing my passion.  I sang in a band with my ex-boyfriend (now my husband), I appeared on several TV commercials, I started to blog, and I also had a retail business.  Years passed by and I felt more stable, content and at peace with whatever I have (or had?).

When things seem to be going so well, suddenly life has a way to shake me up again and tilt me out of my comforts.  Looking back at recent events, I think this shaking up started happening when I was bed resting and experienced working-from-home.  It was a challenge for me, but manageable. Next, I had an emergency C-section when we were all preparing for a normal delivery of baby boy #3.  Following that, our baby who was only two months then got hospitalized and at that tender age already experienced being inserted an IV into.  When I got back to work, there were some changes which aren't exactly in sync to my long-term plans.  Lastly, yaya problems.

But for every mishaps, there were equivalent blessings that come along.  When I was bed resting my new team/s were gracious to allow me to work-from-home which isn't a standard practice in the office.  Because of that, I was able to become more involved with household matters.  Second, I was able to prove to others and myself that working-from-home indeed could work. Delivering and launching projects from home is possible!  I had a taste of how working-from-home feels like.  It was like a window to another life path which is still unexplored.

Second, when I had an emergency C-section, it simply meant, more maternity leave days for me.  It just meant, extended time to be with my newborn and extra time for me to learn and do breastfeeding my baby.  It also meant extra time for me to be present for my two older kids.

When our baby was hospitalized due to my spoiled breast milk, I became more conscious about breastfeeding and sensitivity breast milk storage hence, I was able to share this experience to other moms through my blog.

I was nervous when I was about to return to work.  Because it was my first time to exclusively breastfeed, I didn't have any idea at all how to make breastfeeding work while working out of home.  Fortunately, I was lead to meet angels and these angels helped and supported me a lot in my exclusive breastfeeding journey: from choice of breast pump, to recommended breastfeeding essentials, the how-tos, and to full-on moral support!  This pumped me up and made me convicted to breastfeed baby exclusively as long as I can.  Baby's turning four months already and is exclusively breastfed, thanks to the current support system I have.  Imagine, I've saved almost Php 21K for being formula-milk-free (based on a can costing Php900 good for 5days).

Now speaking of work, there are decisions to be made and these decisions could be life-changing.  I'm at that cross-road right now.  Should I jump or should I hold back?  While making a final choice is still impending, I keep on meeting angels who are entrepreneurs or working from home and who are inspiring and encouraging.  It makes me think, if they can do what they do joyfully even if it means heavy work, sleepless nights, stress... then maybe I can too?  The prize is being able to stay with the kids while earning a living doing what you love doing and being your own boss.

But there are times that I dismiss those thoughts because practically speaking, I cannot just leave work.  I cannot afford to lose my security blanket (which has hospitalization benefits for my dependents, bonuses, and other perks) which put food on the table, pay bills, pay salaries, and send kids to school.  Then the last straw blew: Yaya problem who has already said goodbye and gave us a termination date.

That's it, pansit! What now, brown cow?

Is the universe pushing me to jump off the cliff I'm afraid to jump into?  Is the universe whispering to me to take that unexplored path?  Is the universe telling me to make a choice soon because all these life situations, or dilemmas if you would call it that way, are happening?

When the universe aligns nga naman, you will be lead to riding that road in your life which is unsure because of unlit alleys.  When they align, you will be lead to make a choice, which is not popular and could be scary, but it's what's right for you given the life you're presented into.  When the universe aligns, those mishaps turn into opportunities, and it's up to you to take them or let them go.

Will I take it or let go?  Will I explore the path I'm afraid to take or stay safe?  Should I begin again before it's too late or just stay complacent with what I have right now even if the current is running against my life right now?

What would you do if the universe is aligning things for you?  Will you realign your life or persevere with what you have right now even if it's already pushing away?

I missed my scheduled check-up last March 12 because my calendar's full that day.  I originally planned to squeeze in my check-up that afternoon, but my dad's advance birthday celebration extended until six in the evening.  So I thought, I'll just reschedule.

I am no love guru.  In fact, I've failed many times at it, even up to this day.  I am now married to my best friend, my soulmate, and my everything.  But before that, it was one hell of a road to get to where we are now.

I came from a failed marriage when I was in my early 20s.  I know now that I was indeed too young back then to be experiencing all the heartaches and downfalls I had.  And yet, I still didn't stop committing love and falling-in-love mistakes after that.  Finally, when I was sober, in my late 20s, 27 to be exact, I prayed to God, to keep me focused on what really matters, my son Dandre, my job, and in serving HIM.

I may be five days late from greeting everyone of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR, but late's always better than never.  But then again, being late is unforgivable right?  So that's one of my NY's goals, to avoid being late.  Anyway, due to my current situation at home, sick husband, demanding children, the slight pregnancy discomforts (aka laziness), I just got to open my laptop and write just now.

So let me start by asking, how was your 2015 loves?  Was it great?  Was it challenging?  Was it a year that you'd want to forget or keep as a standard to living the rest of the years you have?

Mine was pretty awesome, especially compared to my 2014 (when my mom passed away).  There were a lot of life, blog, and even career high moments that happened in 2015.  For that, I'm very thankful.  My relationship with Macky was also elevated of course to a super duper higher level, but we've had a major challenge as well.  With all these, there were lessons learned and insights gained.  I want to share them with you in this blog post, so expect this will be a long one.  If you don't get to finish reading until the end, it's okay, I would understand.  I just want to document what I'm thankful for in my year 2015 and my hopes for the new year.  Are you ready?

Here goes...

The Pope Experience
My 2015 was a roller coaster ride but mostly the ride was going up than dipping down.  In January, my year was instantly blessed by being able to see Pope Francis up close and personal during his visit to the Philippines.  We waited along Nagtahan Bridge for more than an hour and it all paid off.

The video of our close encounter with the #DearPopeFrancis earlier this morning at Nagtahan Bridge. It was a humbling and indescribable feeling to actually see him up close. We all so feel blessed to be able to get a short but meaningful glimpse of the Pope. #PopeFrancisPH #PopeTYSM

A video posted by Louise Fandiño-Santos (@mommypracticality) on Jan 15, 2015 at 11:39pm PST

Job Promotion 
Last 2014, I was awarded as the team's Specialist of the Year.  My promotion or upgrade came after that.  My performance allowance was also extended which financially helped our family a lot.  I know there are also other teammates who deserve the recognition and allowance, but this blessing was given to me and the family and I'm really overwhelmed and happy about it.  I made sure I put this to good use by organizing two outreach programs this year involving Macky and our kids during their birthdays.  I hope we instill the value of work discipline, of being selfless when you receive more than what you asked for, the compassion for others in need, and the heart to help the unfortunate.

The Brand New Family Car
It was a dream to finally purchase a brand new car for the family.  We prioritized renovating the house in 2012 to accommodate the growing family.  After paying off our loan, we intended to get an economical family car.  By economical, we meant a big enough car, like a 7-seater one, but which is gasoline efficient, a 1.3L would do for us.  Finally, March 27 came and we were able to cross one of our dreams in our family dream list.

The Proposal

A photo posted by Louise Fandiño-Santos (@mommypracticality) on Mar 28, 2015 at 7:04am PDT

We took the car break-in the following day when we used use going to our planned barkada family-outing in Baras, Rizal.  Little did I know, Macky was already preparing his wedding proposal a month before the outing.  I was totally clueless that he would actually do the production, from background music, fireworks, sparklers, lights, the plot, and the ring of course.  I was speechless and majorly overwhelmed by everything he did that night.  Of course I said YES!

TV5 Happy Wife Happy Life Episode Guesting
I was surprised when TV5 contacted me around April to ask if they may interview me as a resource speaker for the topic "Internet Safety".  It was a surreal moment when the whole production crew went to our house for their location shoot with Ms. Danica Sotto-Pingris.

Wilkins Distilled Drinking Water Digital Ambassador Project

In April, I was contacted by the agency of Wilkins for a one-year Digital Ambassadorship with the brand I truly use and trust.  I was one of the three bloggers to represent their brand digitally and it was an honor to be part of this project.  This launched my fifth TV commercial, but this time using my real name, as Tita Louise.  I shot the commercial with my bloggy friends Jackie of gojackiego.com and Ginger of mommyginger.com.

Del Monte Pineapples Digital Ambassador Project
I'm happy and proud to be part of one of the brands closest to my heart, Del Monte.  I, together with Glaiza of moomymusings.com, was approached by the brand last August to represent Del Monte Pineapple to their mommy target market.  It was indeed a humbling honor to be part of the #DelMontePineappleADay campaign because I love pineapples and my kids do too!  We consume it, we love it, and I could go on talking about benefits of it.  We've had two major event launches for this campaign already and shall continue early this year.

#MackyLouiseFinally - My Practical Rustic Themed Wedding

Finally, I married my best friend, my soulmate, my band mate, my (monkey) business partner, and the love of my life on November 28, 2015.  The intimate wedding of 70 pax attendance took place in Antipolo, quite a remote area from where we reside.  It was a simple, well-planned (by me!) and well-executed (thanks to all my suppliers) life event where we also did some DIYs!  It was a dream wedding where our union was witnessed by the people whom we only want to be there, no pressures from both sides.  I remember how beautifully the sun was shining that day for our garden wedding.  Everything went smoothly.  More than us as a couple being happy and feeling accomplished, we felt the joy and pride in our children's eyes.  We also felt the sigh of "finally" from our parents.  To us, those were the moments most precious to us.  We feel very blessed.

Baby Number 3

A photo posted by Louise Fandiño-Santos (@mommypracticality) on Dec 20, 2015 at 11:20pm PST

Life has its way to surprise us in so many ways!  We thank God for blessing us with a third child.  We really wanted one, we've been planning to have one since last year but I guess God said it wasn't time and made us wait.  The wait was worth it and having this new fast-growing bundle of joy inside me is the best gift we've received this year.  More than anything, the car, the major blog milestones, the wedding, having been chosen by God to be a mother of another child and be responsible for raising him (hoping it's a baby girl), is humbling.  Of many trying mothers and fathers, we were chosen to receive this miracle.  Indeed the best thing that happened to us this year.  We're praying it's a baby girl this time, but if not, it's okay as long as it's normal and healthy.

This rounds up my happy 2015.  I'm thankful for a beautiful year that God has blessed our family with.  There were some bumps along the way, it was all glittery and colorful.  But I'd rather not write that but instead make them my life reminders and lessons so I could pursue doing better and choosing what's right.

To summarize my 2015 learning, here they are:

1. Put God first and trust Him in everything.
2. Prioritize your family.
3. Learn to say no.
4. Nothing is permanent.
5. Compete not with others but with yourself.
6. Fulfill your commitments.
7. Pursue your passion and devote some time.
8. Sometimes we have to let go of some people in our lives.
9. Be charitable.
10. Teach your children by example.

As I write this (hope to finish this post today), we're just one day away until our BIG DAY!  Many of my friends are saying that I should be relaxing this week so I would not look haggard on the wedding day.  Wait, what?  What relax?  Hahaha!  The only time I remembered relaxing was when I had my nails done for three hours the other night and when Macky had a Shiatsu massage.  It was too long that we ended at 12am.  At that time, I just wanted to go to bed,but I had no more time to had my nails done anymore.  Could you check if the blush shade is pretty or  should I change to white or ecru or add a glittery design?

One more day to go until I wear the second ring on my finger. By the way, I had a blush polished on my nails for the big day. Yay or Nay? Should I change it to white or ecru or french tip or put glittery design on it?

A photo posted by Louise Antonette Fandiño (@mommypracticality) on Nov 26, 2015 at 2:26pm PST

Wow!  I just turned another year older and hopefully wiser and better on a holistic approach.  I used to deny my real age because I guess I was insecure or in disbelief that I turned a year older each year and yet I felt like I didn't grow old.  You know what I mean?
But now, not that I am more confident and feeling super wise, I more comfortable telling people my age.  Loves, I just turned 37 years old.  I am way past mid-30s and a few years before the big 40! :)  So with a lot of thinking and reflecting these past few days, I want to share some of my learning and realizations about life, dreams, love, kids, and other people: