Being yayaless recently almost made me decide to resign.  Not because I was becoming hopeless and helpless, but because I was having the time of my life being a working-at-home mom.  On some days when I know I couldn't keep up with work plus mommy tasks, I tell my boss I couldn't work and just take a leave.

Honestly, I miss those yayaless days.  I felt more needed, busier, yes physically drained tired (but helped me lose some weight), and best of all more fulfilled.  I saw myself making it successfully should I decide to take the WAHM or SAHM life.  But every single time my husband and I would decide to finally pass my resignation letter, help came (either stay-out yaya comes at the right time or someone loans me their yaya).

It was God's way of telling me and my husband, not yet time to let go of my corporate job.

But truly, I miss my yayaless days.  Here are some of the reasons why:

1. I witnessed my baby's milestones - I was there when Damien first walked!  That alone is an awesome reason why I wouldn't ever exchange that tiring and lakas maka-losyang day to any day in my work life, not even when I got promoted.

2. More smiles, hugs and kisses from kids - My older kids also adjusted to our new temporary normal.  They saw me every single day at home and it gave them a positive, happy, excited, feeling.  The energy, especially of my 6yo Wes, was so high that his happiness radiated all over the house.  It was contagious.  I also got to monitor their school works, and help them with assignments.  The daily bathing time with Damien was something I looked forward to doing every day.  I got to try and test the different recommended baby bath and after-bath products on him myself.  I got to see his developments and his growing love for the water.  Bath time became our morning bonding ritual.  Bath time is also a good touch therapy for Damien which is helpful for calming him, making him feel loved and secured.  Being at home also meant unli-latch for Damien which helped me also increase my milk output when I got back to work.

3.  I miss hand washing my baby's little clothes - There's something about the scent of baby laundry detergent that makes me want to do this mommy chore every day.  (By the way, I'm using the whole line of Cycles Mild Laundry Detergent for Babies - liquid detergent, powder detergent as well as the stain soaker). I feel so fulfilled whenever I finish a week's worth of my baby's laundry using  Cycles.  I used to hate laundry because my hands are really sensitive and they bruise easily (I don't know why), but Cycles' mild to the hand washer, mild also to baby's clothes, and it's natural baby fragrance is quite addicting, makes laundry time a pleasant one.  I cherish the time I spend wringing the clothes after rinse, hanging them one by one using clothespin, and finally bringing them up to our drying rack while intently smelling (in slow mo) the scent of freshly washed baby clothes.  Aaaahhh, it's the smell of success!

4.  I miss cooking lunch and dinner - Food is a big thing for the family.  Eating time is when we commune, we talk, we laugh, we share, we connect.  It's one of the family activities we all look forward to.  We love food.  My family loves it better if either I or my husband cooks the meal.  I love hearing their appreciation for cooking their fave meal or when they think it's delish (or nambobola lang).  Mas nakakabusog to hear those words of affirmation than the food itself.  Meal time, especially when I cook, spells happiness.  And of course, I love preparing and feeding the baby myself.

5.  The house looked like a real house, not a storage area.  Since I had the house all to myself, I was able to organize the furniture, the kitchen counters, throw expired whatevers (medicine, food, drinks, condiments, lahaaat), clean the rooms, rearrange everything in it, organize toys, declutter, and be true to homemaking, applying every lesson I learned in home economics back in high school, without anyone's help and even opinion.  I had the greatest freedom in the house.  Of course I do this during kids' nap time, while taking a (work-from-home) break.  I threw so many things and kept the house neat and in order.  My prize, a clean house, a healthier breathing and living space, and praises from my children and of course my husband.  I agree that a clean/well-organized house affects the moods of the people living in it.  Less stress and anxiety for everyone and welcomes harmonious feelings which affects relationships positively.

6.  I am the QUEEN, the Domestic Queen - Ito seryoso, when at work, we don't really feel like a queen unless we're the CEO or owner of the company right.  Even if you're with the upper management, you still have a boss whom you have to serve a list of major deliverable.  But at home, I am the one and only QUEEN and I can never be a queen anywhere else but there.  Being yayaless, though super mega tired all day every single yayaless day, I manage my own time, I set my own pace, and the only bosses I have are my children which are always my pleasure to serve.

THE LESSONS & REALIZATIONS
For any working mom, losing a yaya is really difficult.  But my past yayaless experience made me realize so many things and reminded me that our children need their parents to be fully present in their lives. That the children should be the source of our joy and not stress. That our ways (how we act and speak) influence how our children perceive God. That our children's happiness is immeasurable when they know they have their moms and dads with them. Being yayaless reminded me that whatever happens FAMILY should come first and be prioritized at all times. Lastly, that as a working mom, I'm not indispensable but as a mother I am.