Mommy Practicality

Sunday, December 08, 2013

NIKON Home Appliances Christmas Giveaway

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

How To Argue Productively With Your Husband

Remember that butterfly-in-your-stomach kind of feeling whenever we would meet up with our ex-boyfriends, now husband-slash-lover-slash-driver-slash-mechanic-slash-dancer-slash-cook-slash-carpenter-and-all-the-slashes-you-could-think-of? Well, it should still feel like that even after having one, two or more kids. But how now brown cow, with all the many things occupying our schedule and our thoughts from work, from the children's demands, and other activities eating up time? You just have to be creative and commit to setting aside quality time with your partner. I've written a post before about 10 Bonding Ideas with Your Spouse/Partner which I look back to and check if we still get to do them.

What if you get into an argument or a fight? How do you manage to get back on track to that loving-romantic-feeling? Life couldn't get more stressful when you're not okay with your husband or partner. I've been there and still fall into that path every now and then. Fighting or arguing is healthy for the relationship as long as you don't do it everyday or on purpose. But you have to fight healthily and fairly to make sure things you don't agree on will be sorted out still lovingly and with respect, not just because you have to end it.

Just recently hubby and I were in an argument but I'm happy to say that we're now okay. We're like any couples you know, we fight too. Here's how we fought (without going into details of course) productively:

Source

HOW TO ARGUE WITH YOUR HUSBAND:

Keep It Private - You don't want the whole world to know what you and your husband is fighting or arguing about. It's acceptable to tell very few trusted friends (those whom you know will not judge you nor your husband) but still try to select which to disclose, definitely not everything. Remember this is just temporary. By telling all, you might be creating a wrong impression of your husband to your friends. Also, this item means, not to argue in public. Learn the art of self-control, it will never fail you.
Communicate Your Issues Right Away Using Feeling Words. - If you have issues, problems, if you're hurt, if you don't agree with something he says or does, if you're deeply affected in any way by his actions, if you feel taken for granted, tell right away. Our husbands are not psychics nor analysts by nature. Don't harbor your pain or disappointments, it's dangerous. The small things when ignored become huge. When it's huge, it becomes harder to dissect and fix, it will also take longer to do so. Use feeling words when communicating your problems like: "I feel bad when you do this.. or I am hurt when you say that or I am saddened that you did this." When he hears the feeling words, he will not think you are attacking him hence he won't be defensive right away.
Don't Raise Your Voice - We usually tend to raise our voices when our emotions are heightened. It's best to keep your cool first before speaking. Breathing deeply helps lose the tension. If you want a productive and meaningful argument, raising your voice is not the key to achieving that. It may only provoke your partner to answer back in the same manner.
Repeat What Your Partner Said Before Replying - When Ms. Universe candidates answer their final questions from the judges, they repeat the question right? It buys them time to think of what to reply before actually answering the question. Just like when arguing with our husbands, we should first listen to what they said, repeat what they said for validation before reacting. We tend to say better and more correct things when we think first before talking.
Stick To The Issue, No Diversions - Don't bring up old issues and add it to your current issue. That will not lead you both to a healthy discussion. If you keep on digging deep to your past, you will never arrive at your destination to reconciliation, but just trap yourselves in a pit hole which will make it harder for you both to move on.
No Name-Calling. Your husband/partner has a name registered in NSO, he doesn't need another name. Don't add insult to injury.
Avoid Blaming and being Self-Righteous. Of course, WE ARE ALWAYS RIGHT! But we don't need to tell our husbands anymore the obvious. Kidding aside, even when we are the ones who brought up an issue, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are right. We may think that we were hurt first so we have the right to be mad. Who knows, maybe it was his non-verbal way to communicate that he was hurt or he has issues he just cannot explain. Stop proving you are right and stop blaming him for everything. It always takes two to tango, as the cliche goes.
Give Space - I learned this the hard way loves. I used to force Macky to talk to me right away and settle my issues with him right then and there. I always end up more frustrated because he didn't want to talk yet. He said he wasn't ready. If you are freaking mad, SPACE is needed, it lets you cool down first and avoid saying things you would regret. If the other one says he needs time alone, then give him space. Space allows each of you to think and process the situation so you will arrive at a healthier discussion and a solution to your problem.
Don't Let Arguments Linger - Although you need item #8, don't let it take longer than a week if it's just a minor issue. Any argument is like a wound. Treat it while it's fresh to heal faster. If you don't give it attention and just let it be, it will become infected and aggravated. Issues and arguments don't just die if you ignore it. You will end up bringing the same issue on your next argument. Discuss the matter at once with your husband when you are ready.
Getting Even Will Make It Worse - As much as we don't want it, we live in a double standard world. Even if you were hurt with what your husband said or did, you shouldn't ever think of doing the same thing just to get even. One mistake will never be corrected by another mistake. Revenge will just hurt not just your husband, your partner, your relationship and even yourself. Focus on fixing the problem, not making it worse.
Compromise - When arguing or talking the issues out with your lovey, make it a point that you end it productively. Sort out your problems, enumerate some dos and don'ts if needed, meet in between, compromise. Make sure you both commit to what you agreed on. When you reach this stage, most likely you are about to end the argument and you're on your way to the most exciting part of your argument which is #12.
Forgive and Make Love. This is the most exciting part. It's actually self-explanatory. You're already at the reconciliation part when both your emotions of love for each other are realized and heightened, so you know what's about to happen next! Boom boom pow! :)

Feels so great to make peace and love and not war with the person you are with everyday, every night for the rest of your life right? Arguments will always be a part of any loving relationship. It spices up your marriage or relationship. Just make sure you argue productively and end with a loving reconciliation. Our relationship with our husband is always a work in progress. A huge amount of love, respect, trust, patience, understanding, selflessness, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and tears make up the ingredients to a long-lasting relationship, married or not.

So now you practically know how we ended our recent fight no? Hehehe! Happy arguing loves! :) Stay happy and always in love!

~ How do you argue with your love? Share some tips too! ~

Monday, December 02, 2013

Weekend Bonding With Kids

Don't you just love it when weekend arrives? I do! These are two special days I await every week because these are days I get to spend quality time with the family. As a working mom, it's really a luxury for me to be able to spend two whole days with the kids especially.

Just to share, we don't need to really splurge just to have fun. The important thing is, when you're together with the kids, you make them feel that you're really present with them. You pay careful attention to their needs and "paglalambing." Sometimes they just want to mess with your hair, feel the warmth of your hug, ride your back and play silly with you in the morning. Ang sarap ng feeling when you hear your children's endless laughter. I love tickling them and smelling both their underarms (yup I still smell my panganay's armpits!) These are the times I look forward to every week and when I am with them, I unplug. I don't check my phone much, I don't check emails that much, I only text people when important. I use my phone mostly for capturing moments with them and sharing them on IG or FB. It's still all about them. Here's one photo I posted last Saturday:)

Last Saturday, we just simply ate at the newly opened Jollibee branch in Pureza. We all got so excited because it's just walking distance from our place. In our house-clothes (na maayos naman) we went there to have lunch. My Dandre told me to make sure we purchase P200.00 worth of food so he could exchange it with a Jollibee premium item. Simple joys make me happy.

I also met with one of my readers, Sheena, who won in my recent giveaway to hand her the prize. We had a small chat about being a working mother and how it shouldn't stop us from effectively parenting our kids. She texted me a really sweet message after our brief meeting. Makes me more inspired to continue blogging. :)

That afternoon, we were supposed to watch "Frozen 3D" but was late for the movie showing, so we just had dinner and played at Worlds Of Fun.

Sunday came and gladly Macky took a leave from work to bond with us. We attended mass at our favorite church, Abbey of Our Lady of Montserrat, San Beda College chapel in Mendiola, Manila. Then went malling and finally was in time for the Frozen 3D movie! It was a milestone for my toddler because it was his first ever movie! He was well-behaved and sat all throughout the movie. I even changed his diaper where we were seated because we were both so hooked. He also didn't want to go to the restroom. Yan ang talent muthers!

Before dinner came, Macky bought me Brouges at ArtWork (pangsuhol ata!) Dinner was at Seafood Island where we ordered a boodle of seafood and left all of us lazy kind of full!

It was a full weekend indeed!

How about you? How did you spend your weekend?

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Search For Practical Mommy Facebook Contest (a post-birthday blog blowout part 1)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

First Love, First Date

"Mommy, lately we don't go out on a date na po. Can we go out mom?"

My son Dandré asked me out last week. I stopped fixing my face and looked at him with little guilt and said that I actually had something planned for us that Saturday.

My handsome date last Saturday.

Wait, you may ask, he knows what a "date" already is? Yes he does, but of course not the romantic concept of it. I explained to him that a date is when two, sometimes more, people go out to spend quality time with each other to dine, to have fun, to relax, and to do enjoyable activities. It's important to make the "date" happy and memorable. Spending time with someone means you care. It shows how important he/she is to you. That's how he understands it for now.

My son asked me for a date, that's how I'd like to think of it when he posed his question. So last Saturday I took him with me to a bloggers' residential tour. It's work and pleasure for me. For him, it's all pleasure. Why? Strangely because he has an appreciation for interior design. He likes the smell of new furniture and rooms. He likes clean but decorated spaces. He also appreciates the outdoors like big swimming pools and landscapes. He definitely loves a nice ambiance. He had so much fun! His eyes were fully fed with nice sights. He was truly happy! It was an awesome date indeed!

Dandre lounging by the pool. He wanted to swim that afternoon but wasn't able to bring a swimwear!

When we got home he hugged me tightly, kissed me all over my face and said, "Thank you Mommy! I had so much fun in our date! I love you po so much!"

Dandré is already 10 years old and three years from now he will be a teenager already. I can never ever prepare myself for that stage. All I know for now is that he still longs to be with me. He still wants to hang out with me. He still wants me around.

I hear some horror stories from other moms who are requested by their sons not to kiss them in public and not to constantly call to check on them. Their boys who are same age as my son don't go to parties with them anymore but rather spend time with their friends. Honestly, I think if that happens to me, I will break down and be depressed a little. But I know that I should let go and accept that he will grow up and would like to be more independent.

So while my little man still wants me around, asks me for plenty of kisses every time I go home, still sleeps with us in our room, goes back to bed in the morning in his well-pressed uniform just to cuddle, believes in Tooth Fairies and Santa Claus, hugs me tightly and gets angry when I don't, writes me spontaneous love notes and asks me for a date, I will just let him, not stop him nor tell him he's too big or too old to do that. While we still spend uninterrupted time together I'll make sure it will always be his happiest each time!

Spontaneous LOVE note from my Dandre.

For a phase in his life will come when he will spend lesser time with me. He will go out more with friends. He will write someone else a letter or ask someone else out. He will, not soon, but he will.

When that comes I will let go little by little. But I know he will forever remember and never forget that I am his first love, his first kiss and his first date.

~ Do you have a son/s? Are you in a stage where he/they start to spend lesser time with you? How did you feel? ~

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Oh No! Our Yaya Is Pregnant (Part 2)

It took awhile before I get to the part 2 of this Yaya story. So here's the continuation. This experience made me realized three things: 1) Being a domestic employer is not that easy.; 2) You can't help but help a domestic employee in need or in desperation even when it's beyond your obligation.; and 3) It's important to background check your domestic employee.

Going back to the difficult situation our yaya's in which I enumerated in my Oh No! Our Yaya Is Pregnant (Part 1) post, summarized here:

She cannot tell parents or any of her family because her papa and brothers might "kill" her.
She can't tell tell the baby daddy who already has a family.
She wants to have her baby adopted.
She has no means to support the baby being one of her family's breadwinners.
Their house was wiped out in Samar due to Yolanda storm surge.
She's a teenager.

Macky and I discussed what to do with her. I sought help and advice from family and friends and we came up with this plan for her to make it a win-win situation for everyone involved:

Immediate OB Check Up This is the very first step we did to know how many weeks she's already pregnant, when will her due date be and if she and the baby are healthy. We had her registered and checked up at a nearby health center. The result gave us the SHOCK of our lives!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT??? She''s already giving birth on January 7!!! As I've said in my previous post, Macky and I were guessing that she's only five months on the way. Now this gives us a very short timeline to prepare for everything.
Find her a shelter for teenage pregnancy. - There were two shelters that were suggested to me by friends, one in Pasig and the other is in Quezon City. I was told that these shelters are for teenage pregnant moms, or pregnant women who are not married and want to seek refuge, with an objective to counsel them, and keep them from thinking about abortion as an answer to their situation. These shelters, according to my good friend Joy, takes care of the counselling, medical and childbirth expenses. They've set up a labor room where volunteer midwives are assigned to help their patients. They have DSWD social workers who help pregnant women go through pregnancy physically and psychologically.
Help her with adoption. - The shelters' DSWD social workers not only volunteer to give counselling but to also process adoption of the babies born in case the mothers don't intend to keep their babies. But as told, they first encourage and influence the mothers to keep their babies. They only offer adoption help if the mothers are decided, without turning back, to have their babies adopted.
Take her in again after childbirth. - She will be resting a month or two in the shelter after giving birth. We asked her first if she still wants to come back to us or if she has other plans. She said she still wants to stay with us and be my son's nanny. We are her employers and whatever help we are giving her is out of goodwill, nothing that she needs to repay in debt. Of course, there's a period where we will have no yaya for our toddler and that's another challenge for us. We have to look for a temporary yaya quickly.

Realizations and Learnings

Being an "amo" (the term they use for us) to your household helpers is like running a household business with focus on service. It is business and personal at the same time because they take care of the abode we come to everyday and the people close to us, our kids and at the same time we pay for their services. People management is not easy because you handle individual/s of different background and values and also consider their emotional aspects. You also have to train and develop them, sometimes groom them, and assess them if they are fit to work. TRUST is a very big issue for us, and I am sure for you too. By employing and welcoming a stranger into your home, you are risking a lot already. They have direct access to your private lives, your valuables and that include your family.

That's why background checking is very important. But how do you actually do that? In these times of yaya-scarcity or all-around-helper shortage, will you still hire a private investigator to do that for you? In other countries they do, but this is Philippines. It's not been our norm as mid-income earners, to do that. But I take in yayas/helpers through referrals from trusted people. Maybe we thought, we should just be stricter during our initial interview and verify all the information she gave (if she's using her real name or an alias). It won't hurt to be meticulous in this area. Believe me, I have done that, except for one, which should be part of my rigorous test: Health Check.

Now that we're already involved in her complicated situation at the time when she's already earned our trust (except in the area of this pregnancy thing - which I somehow could forgive, because I went through the same fear and confusion she's in now) I find it hard not to somehow take responsibility of her pregnancy. We have of course no contribution to her pregnancy, plus giving her an above-average amount of salary is already okay, manos y manos, but I can't turn a cold heart on her. A voice tells me, us, to help her. It suddenly became an act of goodwill without a barter that she should still serve us and pay for whatever we will spend for her pregnancy and childbirth AND the inconvenience it's giving us and will be giving us. But employee she may be, she's still human. We are more fortunate than her and she badly needs help. So help she is given.

Mission Not Impossible

Nothing really prepares us for what is happening in our lives right now and what more with what lies ahead. Most of the time, we may not know it, but GOD has greater plans. Maybe our yaya was sent to us, because HE has reasons: To test our faith; To give us a charity mission; AND To see if we could give back what He blessed us with. For whatever it is and for all that it happening, THANK YOU Lord. I know You will help us all get through this.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Birthdays Are Made Of These

It was a sun shiny Saturday morning when I woke up to two birthday love letters from Macky and my son Dandre. Huwag nang tanungin, of course I cried like a river. I get so emotional reading letters. Love letters still let my guards down.

I am a Scorpio and I love being intimate in everything. Don't be green-minded loves ha! I just want to say that I'd prefer an intimate gathering with family and friends over a hearty lunch or dinner, than throw a big party for everyone.

The whole family! :)

Still feeling like their little princess here With my Daddy and Mommy.

Wes, Macky (aka Daddy Practicality) the Birthday Girl in RED and Dandre

With my boys

Brothers. Can you guess who among them is Pilyo?

So lunch it was for the whole family at Mr. Choi Restaurant at Robinsons Magnolia. Here's what we had that mega-busog afternoon:

We ordered Fish, Chicken, Pork, Beef, Soup and some desserts too! :) Super busog that afternoon!

The first work day after my birthday weekend, my colleagues surprised me and another birthday celebrator from the team. We had pizza, ice cream and cake. I was touched at their simple gesture, special pala ako sa kanila! Chos!

Birthday Emo and Wishes
I feel so blessed simply for being remembered by my loved ones, friends, and colleagues I see everyday, not to mention the love I felt from more than a hundred Facebook greetings I got. Just a thought, gone are the days when you get gazillion greetings from SMS or call, digital greeting na siya!

My birthday was a reminder that I am special because I am God's lovely creation (walang kokontra, birthday ko!) That I am given another year to live according to HIS will, to do better, to inspire and have the capacity to help others, to nurture my children, to enjoy time with my loved ones and to simply live a purposeful life that He has given me. I am humbled by all the blessings I get each day.

When you blow candles, you make wishes right? Well, my wishes are just simple. My wishes are: To have the best of health for myself and my family; To grow my blog to be able to inspire/help more; To have a steady income so I may continue to support my parents, send my kids to school and be able to help others in need.

To all of you who remembered, THANK YOU!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Press Release: Snapware Glass Bottles

You wouldn’t drink something contaminated, would you? How would you feel if you thought what you were drinking is healthy, but it turns out it is not? Did you know that even water becomes toxic when stored in a wrong container?

Time is of the essence these days. In juggling between work and social life, you have little time to think about small things. There are days you hardly consider what you are drinking, what more assessing where you are drinking from. But, what you drink is not trivial—it is vital. The simple act of drinking clean water today will have a positive impact on your health tomorrow. But ensuring that your water remains clean should not be hard. Good thing there is Snapware Eco Flip and Eco Grip!

Snapware Eco Flip and Eco Grip are designed with your health in mind. The bottles were developed in California, U.S.A. with hygienic materials that ensure healthy hydration. Worry less and live more with Snapware glass bottles!

WHAT MAKES SNAPWARE GLASS BOTTLES HEALTHY?

1. HYGIENIC
These healthy bottles are made with non-porous glass, preventing any residue build-up inside the bottle. Common water bottles especially those not made of glass have been proven to retain residue, which causes discoloration, odor and molds. When residue is trapped within the pores of your drinking container, it would inevitably promote bacterial growth. With Snapware glass bottles, residue is not likely to penetrate the bottle,
inhibiting bacterial growth. You can have peace of mind knowing that where you drink from is clean.

2. SAFE
The bottles are made with non-reactive glass, preventing chemical reactions that may occur between the bottle and the beverage. Water bottles made with reactive materials such as plastic have been found to release chemicals, such as diethylhexyl adipate and bisphenol A (BPA), into food and beverage products. These toxins are proven to have adverse effects in our bodies. According to research, diethylhexyl adipate has the potential to cause damage to liver and testes, and may cause cancer. Bisphenol A has been found to cause heart and liver disease, brain and hormone development problems, and even cancer. With Snapware glass bottles, you can now be certain that such chemicals do not get into your drinks.

3. VERSATILE
The bottles are able to hold a wide range of temperature with no chemical leeching. Some chemicals are released in greater amounts when the contents are hot. This is why the health recommendation is to not store hot beverages in plastic containers. Providing a wider temperature range for your bottle would mean a wider choice for your beverages. With Snapware glass bottles, you can now start bringing hot teas and coffee
with no health concerns.

4. ON-THE-GO CONVENIENCE
The bottles are able to withstand heating without releasing chemicals from the bottle. It has been warned time and again not to leave plastic water bottles in the car. Water contained in plastic bottles left in a hot car is no longer potable because chemicals from the bottle have already transferred to the water itself. With Snapware glass bottles, you no longer have to bring your bottle around all the time. You can leave Snapware glass bottle in the car with no health worries.

5. DESIGNED FOR CLEANLINESS
The non-thread bottle opening prevents bacteria build-up. Screw-top mouth opening bottles retain saliva and residue from the beverage on its threads, making drinking from them unhygienic and unhealthy. Bottles that use straws also provide a breeding ground for molds and bacteria, as the straws are also a challenge to clean thoroughly. With the style of mouth opening of Snapware water bottles, saliva and other residue is easily cleaned off, preventing growth of molds and bacteria.

6. US FDA APPROVED
Snapware glass bottles are a product of USA that adheres to US FDA standards.
You can be assured that Snapware has passed food-grade quality assurance.

7. STYLE MEETS FUNCTION
Silicon sleeve of Eco Flip and neoprene sleeve of Eco Grip provide an additional protection from physical breakage and offers safe, easy and convenient grip of the bottle.

Keep your drinks clean and healthy with Snapware! We want you to make the healthy switch to Snapware. Whether you’re leading an active lifestyle, or making small steps to care for your health, Snapware is perfect for you. We care about your health, for you to love health, love life!

Raffles and Co. Inc. is the exclusive distributor of Snapware glass beverage bottles in the Philippines. Our head office is located in 14/F Cyber One Plaza, Eastwood City 11 Eastwood Avenue, Eastwood City Cyber Park, Bagumbayan, Quezon City. You can contact us at 687 4715 loc. 33 or 34 or at marketing@raffles.com.ph. Snapware glass bottles are available in any of our branches or registered dealers. We have branches in Metro Luzon – (632) 576-7731 to 32, Cebu – (032) 253-8006, Cagayan de Oro – (08822) 727-612, and Davao – (082) 225-0717, making the healthy bottles accessible all around the Philippines.